[T]eachings
"A fierce lion is never nice enough to be tamed, a spring wil absorb all and return all in a single shot."
"The greatest enemy is oneself. The highest order of class of sword and way of handling is being selfless."
"To keep forgiving oneself, finding excuses for oneself is the most undesirable sin to yourself."
"Blade is just an instrument, the spirit of the blade lies in your skills and principles."
"Intense anger and sadness are double-edged swords, however it's up to the individual on how one weild it."
Writer : Xiaofeixia
Age : Since 1988
Aspire : Aeroengineer/Researcher
[T]rAiLs LeFt By..
[W]arriors..
Jake Yi Herrick Shan Sheng Yang Cheng Han Elizabeth Prawn Vonn Jocelyn Slayerz Angelina
[S]hrines
Tears Anger Coded Google mail Movies Frenster Blogger Quotes Photos Search Dog Chinese Downloads Singtel SMS Chinese English Dictionary Altavista Translation
[A]rchives
December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 May 2010
[G]oodies
Technicalalities, Physics, Science, Designing, Architecture, Computer, Sendimental songs, Stoning, Chionging work, Repairing, Pooling
[E]nemies
Irresponisble people, Lip service, Assholes, Humanities, Slackers, Dominators, Heartbreaking, Idiots, ASBS+ACBC people
[S]crolls
"Hope is the worst of evils for it prolongs the torment of man."
-Nietzsche
"He who has enough why can bear almost any how."
-Frederich N.
"Life must be lived as play, playing certain games, singing and dancing"
-Plato
"Some are born great while some has greatness trust upon them"
-President Roosevelt
"Kind words can be short but their echoes are endless"
-Mother Teresa
"The fool wonders, the wise asks"
-Benjamin Disraeli
"Many times we find ourselves lost, but how many times do we actually find ourselves avoiding the obvious solution?"
"Everyone's destiny is not revealed to him or her till the very last minute, why not we craft our own destiny?"
"Prophecy is just a prediction of what you may have in future, but it is more of a guideline anyway."
"You fight, and you say you make sacrifices for others. However, do you really understand the true meaning of sacrifice?"
"Unless it is a high chance of success, if not don't even try doing it. You may be suffering for it in the worst way."
"The legacy is not how many you have killed, but the legacy lies in how much have you accomplished benefitting others around you."
"You may be harmed by others, but do take pity on those who inflict harm on you. It is because they are lonely and ignorant."
"You ask for trouble, and when trouble did come to you, or results not to your liking, just accept it. Because you ask for it, it's yours."
"Somethings are better to be said than done. However, how many times have we acted on our own accord without considering those around us?"
"Things are not the way they seem. You must look beyond and interprete the meaning behind the thing that you see, not by mere appearance"
"If you are called to clear up the shit left behind by others, do not curse and swear. Be positive. At least you learn how to clear up mess, while the others do not know"
"Masking yourself is a thing to do when you are confused, but not when you are trying to hide something"
"What's yours is yours, do not deny its existence."
"You persevere, you stayed without other's knowledge and you labour for them. How many actually came and repay you?"
"We always have a choice, we're made of the choices we chose and we can always choose to make the right choice"
-Spiderman 3
"Life is full of choices. Either you get to choose or you get chosen"
"Compliments boosts people, criticsms pushes people off edges. Why not encourage and give compliments?"
Thursday, June 30, 2005
'Time-travel'
Ok, exams r over liao.. Ok guys lets pop a champagne n celebrate.. But hold on! Leave me out of dis celebration can? *squat down n scurry 2 a corner n sob* I finally screwed all my first A level standard papers.. Tak 5 tests, screw all 5! *congrats 2 me den* Haiz.. Lots of things juz passed by my dumbass brain.. I finally noe a lot of things.. Den it becom damn scary 4 me..
Sometimes I oso think tt it's always beta tt we dun tink 2 much or wad, if nt it wil b damn scary 4 u.. Lik last day which is 2day, lots of things flip thru all da past frm sec 3 til JC1.. Den all images were damn new, den I juz went 2 a sudden stoning.. Rite in da middle of da exam! *faint* Haiz.. Juz dunno wad happen la.. In fact, it's kind of som sort of tim travel.. Den it's lik rather strange.. It's nt daydreaming.. Rrly.. Trust me 4 once can? Hee.. In fact, I oso dunno y leh.. Gt so many images juz kip flashing past.. Mayb I shal describe them? Den here it goes..
I was stoning alone in da exam hall.. Den was doin phy test.. Den I lik complete it lik within 2hrs? Den wif som I completely nt hafin any clue how to solve dem.. So I was dere stoning.. Den images juz fly past me la.. I recalled how I was in sec 3.. A dumb ass.. Wif no clue n nt exposed to da world od complicated matters.. Den I came by my first tuition centre at da British Council. Tt's where I met tse.. Tt's where I start to grow up.. Den bell rang, I juz gt out.. Hand up da papers.. Den went out to revise my chinese.. But was tokin cock wif my brothers la.. So in da end din revise anything up in2 my head.. Den juz went in n tak my exam.. Haiz.. Flunk again de la.. 4 sure.. Den aft da paper, I went in2 complete stoning again.. Dis tim I went stoning at abt 7+ in da evening.. I was walking alone bac home alone, den cars wer all swooshing past me.. Den I was lik walking all alone, thinking bac of wad had actually happened 2 me dis yrs..
I think bac when I was in sec 4. Tt's where mayb I've shoot up inches ba.. My work was damn lousy til I met my tutors la.. If u wanna noe more abt dem, go read da march entries on them.. I wrote whole analysis on them.. den tt's where I oso dunno wad happen 2 me oso.. I kip telling myself tt wadeva I'm doin I'm doin 4 tse.. Wanna impress her, den oso wanna walk thru 2gether.. So dis cont til my 'O's la.. Den aft completin my 'O's, I juz wrote a mail 2 her la.. Den her reply was "I had always treated u as my big bro..", den I went to whole mth of depression.. Nt cos of her alone la.. But oso my academic performance 4 da entry in2 MI.. Den 4 da whole mth, I became a relationship councellor 4 ppl la.. Den oso quite fun 2 noe a lot la.. Btw, I dun only solve Jake's case, but oso som other frens de la.. Piangz, gt lots of shapes of love relationship lorz.. Gt triangle la, rectangle la.. But den som r able to b solved, others nt able to b solved.. Strange thing is I managed to solve da rectangle problem.. But triangle solved probability is lik 30%.. Haiz.. But anw, wen sch reopens, I report 2 MI la.. Den met tse again.. But dun dare 2 c eye 2 eye la..
Den if wanna noe more abt wad happen in MI, refer to da January n early Feb entries.. Den I oso dunno y I b-com lik tt.. I juz lik seem to desire to go in2 a relationship though constantly reminding myself nt 2.. But den in da end oso din fall in2 la.. Juz get in, get out n here a junior college I entered.. Den wen I entered, I oso dunno wad happened.. Juz lik liked a gal frm another class.. Den everytime we mit, juz lik a glance or a simple hello.. So my blog is som times abt her, den som times is abt my indecisiveness in dis type of relationship.. But hey! I'm a relationship counsellor, I shld practise wad I usually say to my clients rite? "Nv fall in2 a r/s unless u r ready 4 it" But wada hell am I doin? Haiz.. Rrly dun understand me myself at times.. Mayb dis is human afterall, wif all da contradictory nature within a human.. Haiz.. Is human so complex at all times? Dis qn rrly nid in-depth thinking.. Or mayb y am I posting such philosiphical qn, wen I dun even wada hell is da ans..
I rrly wanna hide myself frm dis world.. Cos now I'm crying alone in da dark.. Even nb noes la.. Unles u r reading dis blog entry la.. If u r able 2 use literature skills n read my blog, I gues u may juz wanna pt da third finger @ me.. i oso dunno y, dun ask me, but gt a feeling it always happen tt way.. Mayb I'm an arse in everything I do ba..
During da exam wk, my brothers told me tt they wanna set up a racing team.. So offered if I wanna join.. So I juz agree to join lorz.. But gues wad happen I juz lik mayb was too tired, den use my literature skill of detecting tones n words at da wrong time.. I was damn fed up by da words used by Jake bro [so sry, but dun mean 2 target @ u la..]. Perhaps I was damn tired, den dun wish 2 get involved in such things so fast.. Den mayb I was fuming mad, so I took all his words in sacarstic tone, so sry.. [but I hope my assumption is rite hor.. U dun mean to sa-car me rite?] But was damn fed up la.. So juz lik went in2 a fit la.. da words he used was lik all pt-ing at me saying tt I wasn't strong enuf 4 da team, n den always try 2 siam here n siam there.. Den I was damn fed up lorz.. So da tone used to reply him was lik pretty heavy?[sry ya]
Den I oso dunno wad happen 2 me.. I'm juz rotting away.. Counting days to my death or mayb a day when I can com to a light n find ans 2 all my philosophical qns, n mayb find out da true definition of True Love. Den went 4 a briefing abt JC cirriculum.. Piangz.. Dos presenters lik curse us lik tt.. Haiz.. Rrly dunno la.. But it's damn hard in da 2006 yr la.. Pity dem man.. Esp 4 dos hu gonna tak maths, gonna spend 130 bucks on a graphic calculator.. Haiz.. Heart goes out 2 them manz.. But again, y MOE is so skin itchy kip changing syllabus? Even if wan 2 change, dun mak it so costly to b afforded la.. 1 tim muz giv up 130 bucks, my heart pains man.. So moral of da story: Work hard, dun get retained!
Juz came across my mind abt dos love things again.. I oso dunno y.. But I seem to lik to touch on love a lot.. Be it broken love or any kind of love, I wld rrly wanna see dem.. here goes 1:
"People leap and hope to God they can fly. Because otherwise, we may just drop like a rock wondering the whole way down "Why in the hell did I jump?" But here I am,(name of the gal), falling and there is only one person that makes me feel like I can fly. that's you. Asking me if I like you. It's no, because I love you."
"You know what's like getting up every morning feeling hopeless? Feeling like the love of your life is waking up not with you? But at the same time, hoping that she still find happiness even it's never gonna be with you?"
"Does it ever occur to women that maybe a guy might like to have a plan becaus he is nervous? He's not sure that he could just walk up to you and you'd respnd if he said: 'I like you.' "
"You complete me. You had me at 'Hello' "
"That guy would have sold his soul to make you happy"
Sometimes I oso think tt it's always beta tt we dun tink 2 much or wad, if nt it wil b damn scary 4 u.. Lik last day which is 2day, lots of things flip thru all da past frm sec 3 til JC1.. Den all images were damn new, den I juz went 2 a sudden stoning.. Rite in da middle of da exam! *faint* Haiz.. Juz dunno wad happen la.. In fact, it's kind of som sort of tim travel.. Den it's lik rather strange.. It's nt daydreaming.. Rrly.. Trust me 4 once can? Hee.. In fact, I oso dunno y leh.. Gt so many images juz kip flashing past.. Mayb I shal describe them? Den here it goes..
I was stoning alone in da exam hall.. Den was doin phy test.. Den I lik complete it lik within 2hrs? Den wif som I completely nt hafin any clue how to solve dem.. So I was dere stoning.. Den images juz fly past me la.. I recalled how I was in sec 3.. A dumb ass.. Wif no clue n nt exposed to da world od complicated matters.. Den I came by my first tuition centre at da British Council. Tt's where I met tse.. Tt's where I start to grow up.. Den bell rang, I juz gt out.. Hand up da papers.. Den went out to revise my chinese.. But was tokin cock wif my brothers la.. So in da end din revise anything up in2 my head.. Den juz went in n tak my exam.. Haiz.. Flunk again de la.. 4 sure.. Den aft da paper, I went in2 complete stoning again.. Dis tim I went stoning at abt 7+ in da evening.. I was walking alone bac home alone, den cars wer all swooshing past me.. Den I was lik walking all alone, thinking bac of wad had actually happened 2 me dis yrs..
I think bac when I was in sec 4. Tt's where mayb I've shoot up inches ba.. My work was damn lousy til I met my tutors la.. If u wanna noe more abt dem, go read da march entries on them.. I wrote whole analysis on them.. den tt's where I oso dunno wad happen 2 me oso.. I kip telling myself tt wadeva I'm doin I'm doin 4 tse.. Wanna impress her, den oso wanna walk thru 2gether.. So dis cont til my 'O's la.. Den aft completin my 'O's, I juz wrote a mail 2 her la.. Den her reply was "I had always treated u as my big bro..", den I went to whole mth of depression.. Nt cos of her alone la.. But oso my academic performance 4 da entry in2 MI.. Den 4 da whole mth, I became a relationship councellor 4 ppl la.. Den oso quite fun 2 noe a lot la.. Btw, I dun only solve Jake's case, but oso som other frens de la.. Piangz, gt lots of shapes of love relationship lorz.. Gt triangle la, rectangle la.. But den som r able to b solved, others nt able to b solved.. Strange thing is I managed to solve da rectangle problem.. But triangle solved probability is lik 30%.. Haiz.. But anw, wen sch reopens, I report 2 MI la.. Den met tse again.. But dun dare 2 c eye 2 eye la..
Den if wanna noe more abt wad happen in MI, refer to da January n early Feb entries.. Den I oso dunno y I b-com lik tt.. I juz lik seem to desire to go in2 a relationship though constantly reminding myself nt 2.. But den in da end oso din fall in2 la.. Juz get in, get out n here a junior college I entered.. Den wen I entered, I oso dunno wad happened.. Juz lik liked a gal frm another class.. Den everytime we mit, juz lik a glance or a simple hello.. So my blog is som times abt her, den som times is abt my indecisiveness in dis type of relationship.. But hey! I'm a relationship counsellor, I shld practise wad I usually say to my clients rite? "Nv fall in2 a r/s unless u r ready 4 it" But wada hell am I doin? Haiz.. Rrly dun understand me myself at times.. Mayb dis is human afterall, wif all da contradictory nature within a human.. Haiz.. Is human so complex at all times? Dis qn rrly nid in-depth thinking.. Or mayb y am I posting such philosiphical qn, wen I dun even wada hell is da ans..
I rrly wanna hide myself frm dis world.. Cos now I'm crying alone in da dark.. Even nb noes la.. Unles u r reading dis blog entry la.. If u r able 2 use literature skills n read my blog, I gues u may juz wanna pt da third finger @ me.. i oso dunno y, dun ask me, but gt a feeling it always happen tt way.. Mayb I'm an arse in everything I do ba..
During da exam wk, my brothers told me tt they wanna set up a racing team.. So offered if I wanna join.. So I juz agree to join lorz.. But gues wad happen I juz lik mayb was too tired, den use my literature skill of detecting tones n words at da wrong time.. I was damn fed up by da words used by Jake bro [so sry, but dun mean 2 target @ u la..]. Perhaps I was damn tired, den dun wish 2 get involved in such things so fast.. Den mayb I was fuming mad, so I took all his words in sacarstic tone, so sry.. [but I hope my assumption is rite hor.. U dun mean to sa-car me rite?] But was damn fed up la.. So juz lik went in2 a fit la.. da words he used was lik all pt-ing at me saying tt I wasn't strong enuf 4 da team, n den always try 2 siam here n siam there.. Den I was damn fed up lorz.. So da tone used to reply him was lik pretty heavy?[sry ya]
Den I oso dunno wad happen 2 me.. I'm juz rotting away.. Counting days to my death or mayb a day when I can com to a light n find ans 2 all my philosophical qns, n mayb find out da true definition of True Love. Den went 4 a briefing abt JC cirriculum.. Piangz.. Dos presenters lik curse us lik tt.. Haiz.. Rrly dunno la.. But it's damn hard in da 2006 yr la.. Pity dem man.. Esp 4 dos hu gonna tak maths, gonna spend 130 bucks on a graphic calculator.. Haiz.. Heart goes out 2 them manz.. But again, y MOE is so skin itchy kip changing syllabus? Even if wan 2 change, dun mak it so costly to b afforded la.. 1 tim muz giv up 130 bucks, my heart pains man.. So moral of da story: Work hard, dun get retained!
Juz came across my mind abt dos love things again.. I oso dunno y.. But I seem to lik to touch on love a lot.. Be it broken love or any kind of love, I wld rrly wanna see dem.. here goes 1:
"People leap and hope to God they can fly. Because otherwise, we may just drop like a rock wondering the whole way down "Why in the hell did I jump?" But here I am,(name of the gal), falling and there is only one person that makes me feel like I can fly. that's you. Asking me if I like you. It's no, because I love you."
"You know what's like getting up every morning feeling hopeless? Feeling like the love of your life is waking up not with you? But at the same time, hoping that she still find happiness even it's never gonna be with you?"
"Does it ever occur to women that maybe a guy might like to have a plan becaus he is nervous? He's not sure that he could just walk up to you and you'd respnd if he said: 'I like you.' "
"You complete me. You had me at 'Hello' "
"That guy would have sold his soul to make you happy"
Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 11:59 pm
Saturday, June 25, 2005
'Detox'
2day was damn fucked up.. Juz dun feel lik eating.. Den my mum gave me 10 bucks to eat.. Den juz lik kip it den dun do anything wif it.. Juz stoning in front of da com n revisin my phy.. Den dun feel lik moving my ass away frm da com.. except wen I get my own whole storage of chilled Ribena.. I noe it's childish to drink Ribena la.. But always beta den drinking soft drinks rite? Haha.. Den basically 2day ate nth, but 1 chunk of chocolate, 2 bars of potong red bean ice-cream, n lik 6 bottles of Ribena excluding da 1 I drinking now.. I now stil gt 2 more bottles in my fridge.. Lol. A ribena freak.. Haha.. Den 2day basically is gg thru detox, revision n movie(dvd) watching la.. Haha..
Den 2day woke up in da morning, den was damn grogy I suppose.. Cos wok up nb at hm.. Den abt 10 min ltr, ppl strat 2 fill da hse la.. Den again 1 hr ltr, ppl leaving hse again.. Den leaving all alone la.. Den I revise my phy n maths.. Den found out tt my Physics aft all is nt tt gd.. [duh!] My projectile motion, temperature n error approximation is damn weak.. Haiz.. Meaning? Brush up, u arse! Den revision on my maths.. As usual, I flunk my APGP, n den I totally 4gt abt the eqns of ellipse, circles n parabolas.. Haiz.. Wen can I b able to master da skills totally w/o flunking any n 4geting any.. Haiz.. I rrly dunno la.. Damn stressed up la.. Partly cos I din prepare som parts la, but mainly cos u ppl hu r taking da exams making me feel damn nervous.. Scared dis scared tt.. Piangz.. Mak me so nervous.. I rrly wish 2 say eh.. "So nervous, y bother 2 tak?" Haiz.. Rrly dun understand u ppl..
Den in da aftnon, I went movie(dvd) watching.. Watched Hitch n Constantine.. Haha.. Den was lik wanting to buy som more dvds lik Blade Trinity, National Treasure n waiting for da Pacifier n Mr n Mrs Smith.. Haha.. Dunno leh.. Perhaps juz nid 2 sav som money 2 buy ba.. Haiz.. Den time flies la, sun start 2 set.. Den nite came..
Den again, I'm bac at da com.. Blogging.. A bit sian la.. Den oso went invading ppl's blog.. But damn hard to conquer de la.. Haha.. [duh, if so ez 2 conquer, den ur blog wld haf been others le wad] Den now drinking my second bottle.. Haha.. 1 bottle left in da fridge.. Haha..
Den I start to recall driving.. I gues mayb nex tim I drive AT(Auto-Tramission) cars ba.. Cos I cun get used to Mannual de.. Haha.. Gues I shld tak my driving test in mayb 1 yr's tim, aft my As? Haha.. Den nex tim, I can tak myself a spin wen I'm damn stressed.. Haha..
I dunno wad I gonna say
I tried to go near
D tides kip pushin me away
I juz cldn't get near
I hate 2 c n hear
Things tt I used to lik
Things tt I used to hate
Colors seemed dull
Food is tasteless
Things dun matter 2 me anymore
I gues I shld b 'me'
Shld b a guy of my own
Nt imitaion of others
I'm so confused
I'm rrly lost 4 words
Sam 3 words all repititive
But nonetheless, I'm gg to say it
I luv U
Den 2day woke up in da morning, den was damn grogy I suppose.. Cos wok up nb at hm.. Den abt 10 min ltr, ppl strat 2 fill da hse la.. Den again 1 hr ltr, ppl leaving hse again.. Den leaving all alone la.. Den I revise my phy n maths.. Den found out tt my Physics aft all is nt tt gd.. [duh!] My projectile motion, temperature n error approximation is damn weak.. Haiz.. Meaning? Brush up, u arse! Den revision on my maths.. As usual, I flunk my APGP, n den I totally 4gt abt the eqns of ellipse, circles n parabolas.. Haiz.. Wen can I b able to master da skills totally w/o flunking any n 4geting any.. Haiz.. I rrly dunno la.. Damn stressed up la.. Partly cos I din prepare som parts la, but mainly cos u ppl hu r taking da exams making me feel damn nervous.. Scared dis scared tt.. Piangz.. Mak me so nervous.. I rrly wish 2 say eh.. "So nervous, y bother 2 tak?" Haiz.. Rrly dun understand u ppl..
Den in da aftnon, I went movie(dvd) watching.. Watched Hitch n Constantine.. Haha.. Den was lik wanting to buy som more dvds lik Blade Trinity, National Treasure n waiting for da Pacifier n Mr n Mrs Smith.. Haha.. Dunno leh.. Perhaps juz nid 2 sav som money 2 buy ba.. Haiz.. Den time flies la, sun start 2 set.. Den nite came..
Den again, I'm bac at da com.. Blogging.. A bit sian la.. Den oso went invading ppl's blog.. But damn hard to conquer de la.. Haha.. [duh, if so ez 2 conquer, den ur blog wld haf been others le wad] Den now drinking my second bottle.. Haha.. 1 bottle left in da fridge.. Haha..
Den I start to recall driving.. I gues mayb nex tim I drive AT(Auto-Tramission) cars ba.. Cos I cun get used to Mannual de.. Haha.. Gues I shld tak my driving test in mayb 1 yr's tim, aft my As? Haha.. Den nex tim, I can tak myself a spin wen I'm damn stressed.. Haha..
I dunno wad I gonna say
I tried to go near
D tides kip pushin me away
I juz cldn't get near
I hate 2 c n hear
Things tt I used to lik
Things tt I used to hate
Colors seemed dull
Food is tasteless
Things dun matter 2 me anymore
I gues I shld b 'me'
Shld b a guy of my own
Nt imitaion of others
I'm so confused
I'm rrly lost 4 words
Sam 3 words all repititive
But nonetheless, I'm gg to say it
I luv U
Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 9:29 pm
Thursday, June 23, 2005
'Confused'
Heya.. I dunno wad happen 2 me liao.. One time I was avoiding food, den now I'm eating a lot.. It's rrly very wad lorz.. Dun even noe wad am I doin.. I rrly gt my ass on my head n my head on my ass.. Dotz.. Haiz..
Days of exams r comin near.. My preparartion 4 da major tests is pretty ok la.. But my GP n Chinese is sure gone case liao la.. Haiz.. So many 2 memorize.. 2 short stories 2 memorise, den 3 poems 2 memorise.. Haiz.. den 2day went to haf my physics tuition.. Den I found out my revision stil nt enough.. Stil gt som tt I 4get.. Haiz.. Circular motion stil nt so bad.. But den my weakest part, da measurements, errors n approximation.. I juz cun grab hold of tt concept.. It juz sux lorz.. It juz goes 4 da sam 4 da Gravitational Studies.. Haiz.. Y bother to study 4 theory? Isn't dis 4 prac? 4 theory wad errorrs do we haf? Only calculation n concept errors only lorz.. Where gt measurement errors? Haiz.. But anw, physics is more of a common sense thing la.. So mayb nex time muz use more common sense n think lorz.. Haha..
I oso dunno wad's gonna happen 2 me.. I seem 2 b more n more self-centred.. Ppl muz always follow my rule of command.. Lik I dun actually argue my way thru de lorz.. But now lately in dis mth, I kept arguing 2 haf my way out.. Lik watching movies rite? I actually used to follow ppl's opinion, but den 2day I actually argued to get dem to watch it in Yishun.. Haiz.. Y haf I b-com so bad? cos I'm AB blood type? Haiz.. Ppl say AB type ppl tend to b self centred, den always dun render help 2 ppl.. Gues I'm getting it closer n closer to dos description.. I muz say sry 2 dos ppl den.. I shld nt haf forced ppl to follow my decision.. Cos it's too self centred liao.. Shld haf juz follow da majority.. Shld nt haf forced ppl to follow me.. Haiz.. I oso dunno wad had gt in2 my hea.. Haiz..
I now a bit all lost in dis big big complicated world.. Haiz.. Juz let me rmb a song lyrics.. "I'm a big big gal.. In dis big big world.." Haiz.. 4 me, gues it suits me of course wif da word 'gal' wif 'guy' la.. Den it wil b-com "I'm a big big guy.. In dis big big world.." I oso dunno y la.. Juz b-com confused.. I've doin self-reflection lately.. Found out tt I've gt quite lots of black seeds.. Haiz.. Had been a bad guy recently.. Haiz.. Gues I'm rrly a professional Killer den.. Kip killing ppl n b-coming a bad guy.. Haiz.. Where has da gd guy in me gone 2? Haiz.. *scratching my head n thinking n sighing*
Now, I'm all alone fighting dis darkness of lonliness myself.. Stress n everything juz seems to chiong at me str.. Lik wad an army wil do wen given da order to charge.. Den now I'm being charged at.. Haiz.. Juz lik in LOTR(ROTK), where Rohan's army charged at Mordor's army of Orcs.. In which stress n everything is lik Rohan's army, den me as Mordor's army being charged at.. Haiz.. Dun even noe shld b afraid or nt? Am I sth wrong up in my mental health? Cos I ain't feeling anything besides frm stress.. But juz sense tt I may break down any moment.. Haiz.. Den now I'm stoning rite here writing dis long entry I suppose..
In fact rite now, I feel lik doin lots of crazy things.. Lik walk rite str up 2 her n say "I'm all bottled up, can u b da 1 2 open dis bottle 4 me?"; den another crazy 1 is I wanna smash som nails in2 my desk.. Haiz.. Or even beta, smash my fone wif a hammer.. Haiz.. Y am I so crazy.. Haiz..
I came by a song called "hui zhe chi pang de nu hai" but den da cheeky me gonna change it to "hui zhe chi pang de nan hai" so of cos da lyrics oso change la.. Here it goes:
当 我还是 一个懵懂的男孩
遇到爱 不懂爱
从过去 到现在
直到你 也离开
留我在云海徘徊 明白没人能取代 你曾给我的信赖
See me fly, I'm proud to fly up high 不能一直依赖 别人给我拥戴
Believe me I can fly, I'm singing in the sky 就算风雨覆盖 我也不怕重来
我 已不是 那个懵懂的男孩
遇到爱 用力爱
仍信 真爱
风雨来 不避开
谦虚把头低下来 像沙鸥来去天地 只为寻一个奇迹
See me fly， I'm proud to fly up high 生命已经打开 我要那种精彩
Believe me I can fly, I'm singing in the sky 你曾经对我说 做勇敢的男孩
我盼有一天能和你 相见 骄傲地对着天空说 是借着你的风
Let me fly I'm proud to fly up high 生命已经打开 我要那种精彩
Believe me I can fly, I'm singing in the sky 你曾经对我说 做勇敢的男孩
我盼有一天能和你 相见 骄傲地对着天空说 是借着你的风
我不会独单 因为你 都在
I gues it may nt sound smooth la.. But den I a bit too sian til I anyhow change song lyrics la.. So pardon me la.. If it sounds sucky.. Da tune is using bac da sam old tune la.. da tune of "hui zhe chi pang de nu hai" Hope u all lik it la..
Gues dis is da longest entry of da mth ba.. So nonetheless, I gonna add in da ending poem.. Dis poem comprises of 3 major parts: If u all can spot it as to which entries r they frm, den u r half-way winning n u r only left wif da scattered ones.. So here it goes and it is of cos aft some editing la.. Haha.. 4 ur info, dey r in purple cos dese r da things of da poem in all.. Here u go:
I dun really believe in Love anymore,
As much as I used to,
But I noe it exists..
It can nv b back as to wad had happened b4,
But i do really treasure u.. :(
But u juz left me all alone in d dark..
Me weeping silently.. In d dark..
True love is always to b found anywhere
As I've told myself n others..
But y am i weeping over such matters?
Cos of u, I've changed..
Frm an uncouth guy to a bit of refined guy..
Cos of u
I dropped my first tear of sadness due to love
My heart is stil weeping Frm the day u started to avoid me..:"(
If I crossed million of oceans juz to b wif u..
Swam the longest river juz to call ur name..
Wld u stil b treating me dis way?
I'm so sry if i sounded so bad..
Cos my heart is bleeding..
I can give up almost everything..
Love is so boundless
Love take so many forms..
But wad is true luv?
Can sb define it 4 me?
Cos of u
N only cos of u
I've been trying hard
To find definition of love
I could juz walk off silently
Wif a bottle of vinegar
Overturned on me
Drenched.. :"(
I've turned over
Walked alone along my path
I juz hope u r fine
Walking happily
I do wish to say anything
Cos only love can say
How much I had given 2 u
I hope u r fine n happy
I had written dis poem
Out of sadness n love torned
Juz wanna let u noeI love u..
I finally understand wad u meant
I finally realise tt
I tend to think too much,
Bringing myself much unnecessary fear n worries
I do nt understand wad had happened
But I do understand a fact
I dun haf the qualifications as u haf stated 4 a guy
I wld juz gladly drift away
As I get closer 2 u,
U drifted much further away
I tried looking 4 u
But u juz dissappeared
I rrly miss u
Wld u juz come bac?
I wil rrly say 'I love you'
Cos it's frm my heart
I no longer lik u
Cos I love u.
Days of exams r comin near.. My preparartion 4 da major tests is pretty ok la.. But my GP n Chinese is sure gone case liao la.. Haiz.. So many 2 memorize.. 2 short stories 2 memorise, den 3 poems 2 memorise.. Haiz.. den 2day went to haf my physics tuition.. Den I found out my revision stil nt enough.. Stil gt som tt I 4get.. Haiz.. Circular motion stil nt so bad.. But den my weakest part, da measurements, errors n approximation.. I juz cun grab hold of tt concept.. It juz sux lorz.. It juz goes 4 da sam 4 da Gravitational Studies.. Haiz.. Y bother to study 4 theory? Isn't dis 4 prac? 4 theory wad errorrs do we haf? Only calculation n concept errors only lorz.. Where gt measurement errors? Haiz.. But anw, physics is more of a common sense thing la.. So mayb nex time muz use more common sense n think lorz.. Haha..
I oso dunno wad's gonna happen 2 me.. I seem 2 b more n more self-centred.. Ppl muz always follow my rule of command.. Lik I dun actually argue my way thru de lorz.. But now lately in dis mth, I kept arguing 2 haf my way out.. Lik watching movies rite? I actually used to follow ppl's opinion, but den 2day I actually argued to get dem to watch it in Yishun.. Haiz.. Y haf I b-com so bad? cos I'm AB blood type? Haiz.. Ppl say AB type ppl tend to b self centred, den always dun render help 2 ppl.. Gues I'm getting it closer n closer to dos description.. I muz say sry 2 dos ppl den.. I shld nt haf forced ppl to follow my decision.. Cos it's too self centred liao.. Shld haf juz follow da majority.. Shld nt haf forced ppl to follow me.. Haiz.. I oso dunno wad had gt in2 my hea.. Haiz..
I now a bit all lost in dis big big complicated world.. Haiz.. Juz let me rmb a song lyrics.. "I'm a big big gal.. In dis big big world.." Haiz.. 4 me, gues it suits me of course wif da word 'gal' wif 'guy' la.. Den it wil b-com "I'm a big big guy.. In dis big big world.." I oso dunno y la.. Juz b-com confused.. I've doin self-reflection lately.. Found out tt I've gt quite lots of black seeds.. Haiz.. Had been a bad guy recently.. Haiz.. Gues I'm rrly a professional Killer den.. Kip killing ppl n b-coming a bad guy.. Haiz.. Where has da gd guy in me gone 2? Haiz.. *scratching my head n thinking n sighing*
Now, I'm all alone fighting dis darkness of lonliness myself.. Stress n everything juz seems to chiong at me str.. Lik wad an army wil do wen given da order to charge.. Den now I'm being charged at.. Haiz.. Juz lik in LOTR(ROTK), where Rohan's army charged at Mordor's army of Orcs.. In which stress n everything is lik Rohan's army, den me as Mordor's army being charged at.. Haiz.. Dun even noe shld b afraid or nt? Am I sth wrong up in my mental health? Cos I ain't feeling anything besides frm stress.. But juz sense tt I may break down any moment.. Haiz.. Den now I'm stoning rite here writing dis long entry I suppose..
In fact rite now, I feel lik doin lots of crazy things.. Lik walk rite str up 2 her n say "I'm all bottled up, can u b da 1 2 open dis bottle 4 me?"; den another crazy 1 is I wanna smash som nails in2 my desk.. Haiz.. Or even beta, smash my fone wif a hammer.. Haiz.. Y am I so crazy.. Haiz..
I came by a song called "hui zhe chi pang de nu hai" but den da cheeky me gonna change it to "hui zhe chi pang de nan hai" so of cos da lyrics oso change la.. Here it goes:
当 我还是 一个懵懂的男孩
遇到爱 不懂爱
从过去 到现在
直到你 也离开
留我在云海徘徊 明白没人能取代 你曾给我的信赖
See me fly, I'm proud to fly up high 不能一直依赖 别人给我拥戴
Believe me I can fly, I'm singing in the sky 就算风雨覆盖 我也不怕重来
我 已不是 那个懵懂的男孩
遇到爱 用力爱
仍信 真爱
风雨来 不避开
谦虚把头低下来 像沙鸥来去天地 只为寻一个奇迹
See me fly， I'm proud to fly up high 生命已经打开 我要那种精彩
Believe me I can fly, I'm singing in the sky 你曾经对我说 做勇敢的男孩
我盼有一天能和你 相见 骄傲地对着天空说 是借着你的风
Let me fly I'm proud to fly up high 生命已经打开 我要那种精彩
Believe me I can fly, I'm singing in the sky 你曾经对我说 做勇敢的男孩
我盼有一天能和你 相见 骄傲地对着天空说 是借着你的风
我不会独单 因为你 都在
I gues it may nt sound smooth la.. But den I a bit too sian til I anyhow change song lyrics la.. So pardon me la.. If it sounds sucky.. Da tune is using bac da sam old tune la.. da tune of "hui zhe chi pang de nu hai" Hope u all lik it la..
Gues dis is da longest entry of da mth ba.. So nonetheless, I gonna add in da ending poem.. Dis poem comprises of 3 major parts: If u all can spot it as to which entries r they frm, den u r half-way winning n u r only left wif da scattered ones.. So here it goes and it is of cos aft some editing la.. Haha.. 4 ur info, dey r in purple cos dese r da things of da poem in all.. Here u go:
I dun really believe in Love anymore,
As much as I used to,
But I noe it exists..
It can nv b back as to wad had happened b4,
But i do really treasure u.. :(
But u juz left me all alone in d dark..
Me weeping silently.. In d dark..
True love is always to b found anywhere
As I've told myself n others..
But y am i weeping over such matters?
Cos of u, I've changed..
Frm an uncouth guy to a bit of refined guy..
Cos of u
I dropped my first tear of sadness due to love
My heart is stil weeping Frm the day u started to avoid me..:"(
If I crossed million of oceans juz to b wif u..
Swam the longest river juz to call ur name..
Wld u stil b treating me dis way?
I'm so sry if i sounded so bad..
Cos my heart is bleeding..
I can give up almost everything..
Love is so boundless
Love take so many forms..
But wad is true luv?
Can sb define it 4 me?
Cos of u
N only cos of u
I've been trying hard
To find definition of love
I could juz walk off silently
Wif a bottle of vinegar
Overturned on me
Drenched.. :"(
I've turned over
Walked alone along my path
I juz hope u r fine
Walking happily
I do wish to say anything
Cos only love can say
How much I had given 2 u
I hope u r fine n happy
I had written dis poem
Out of sadness n love torned
Juz wanna let u noeI love u..
I finally understand wad u meant
I finally realise tt
I tend to think too much,
Bringing myself much unnecessary fear n worries
I do nt understand wad had happened
But I do understand a fact
I dun haf the qualifications as u haf stated 4 a guy
I wld juz gladly drift away
As I get closer 2 u,
U drifted much further away
I tried looking 4 u
But u juz dissappeared
I rrly miss u
Wld u juz come bac?
I wil rrly say 'I love you'
Cos it's frm my heart
I no longer lik u
Cos I love u.
Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 12:00 am
Monday, June 20, 2005
'A Smiling Face As Always..'
Ppl ask me sth 2day.. "U seem quite happy everytime I see you.. But y ar? Even when ppl r damn stressed up? Can share wif me?" I juz cld nt say anything cos wad da 1 u seeing is nt da real me.. The world to 2 me is a masquerade.. Ppl r putting up masks.. So wada big deal wen I put on mine? Juz put it on.. I go by a theory of mine:
"When u r unhappy or sad or other unpleaseant feelings, it's gd to hide it frm ur surrounding ppl. When u r happy or in good mood, share it with the ppl ard u."
Though it wil b labelled as a person wif bad labellings, but wad I feel is tt it's always beta 2 mak ppl ard u harpy n cheerful.. Rather dem to b sad, moody.. Dun u agree? In fact, if u try makin ppl ard u 2 b cheerful, they in turn may mak ur day beta.. Dun believe try it, wen u r feeling down or wad.. Kip a cheerful face, brighten da ppl's day..
As holidays approach an ending, I becom more n more stressed.. But again, I go by my tt theory of mine.. Try makin da ppl's day ard me to be brighter.. Nv pull a face or wad.. Juz b happy.. Hehe.. I nv believe in pulling an unpleasant face in front of ppl.. wad 4 u pull such an unpleasant face in front of ppl? Wad's ur motive? Show dem u r unhappy? Or u wan ppl to share da unhappiness wif u? I dun c da pt of pullling an unpleasant face in front of others.. Wad 4? Mayb u can convince me wif ur pts..
I gues I juz cldn't think of happy things ba.. Tt's y mayb u read a da sad things ba.. But den I gues dis where I can tak off my mask ba.. Den dis where my true feelings lik ba.. Dos poems r true, but as in which one is den rrly abt me n my situation, u haf to try n mix n match ba.. I ca tell u, there r 3 major poems in each month in one of da entry, den as to other poems u can mix n match dem.. Here's a clue.. Look out 4 da purple colored, but there r som exceptions.. Enuf hints le ba? Haha..
Ppl always haf a misconception. A professional nid nt always haf da solution to his/her problems.. I'm ppl's love councillor, but I'm able to solve others' problem cos as an outsider, no self-denial wil b present. However, if a professional is to solve his/her problems, self-denial wil b present, and no solutions wil b met.. Cos all I can say self-denial property is within each human themselves.. It's som how quite hard to get rid of it.. So som how a bit contradictory of a professional cun solve his own problems..
U say nth
U juz looked away
I juz look down
I juz stuttered
Whenever I wanna tok 2 U
Cos I'm too nervous
Y nervous, I oso dunno
I'm nt a man of words
Juz an uncouth guy
Hu juz uses brute force
Nt words to solve problems
I tend to think far,
But yet U nv notice it
I juz dunno wad to say
But lied 2 U
I no longer like U
I love U
But I juz dunno how 2 say it
"When u r unhappy or sad or other unpleaseant feelings, it's gd to hide it frm ur surrounding ppl. When u r happy or in good mood, share it with the ppl ard u."
Though it wil b labelled as a person wif bad labellings, but wad I feel is tt it's always beta 2 mak ppl ard u harpy n cheerful.. Rather dem to b sad, moody.. Dun u agree? In fact, if u try makin ppl ard u 2 b cheerful, they in turn may mak ur day beta.. Dun believe try it, wen u r feeling down or wad.. Kip a cheerful face, brighten da ppl's day..
As holidays approach an ending, I becom more n more stressed.. But again, I go by my tt theory of mine.. Try makin da ppl's day ard me to be brighter.. Nv pull a face or wad.. Juz b happy.. Hehe.. I nv believe in pulling an unpleasant face in front of ppl.. wad 4 u pull such an unpleasant face in front of ppl? Wad's ur motive? Show dem u r unhappy? Or u wan ppl to share da unhappiness wif u? I dun c da pt of pullling an unpleasant face in front of others.. Wad 4? Mayb u can convince me wif ur pts..
I gues I juz cldn't think of happy things ba.. Tt's y mayb u read a da sad things ba.. But den I gues dis where I can tak off my mask ba.. Den dis where my true feelings lik ba.. Dos poems r true, but as in which one is den rrly abt me n my situation, u haf to try n mix n match ba.. I ca tell u, there r 3 major poems in each month in one of da entry, den as to other poems u can mix n match dem.. Here's a clue.. Look out 4 da purple colored, but there r som exceptions.. Enuf hints le ba? Haha..
Ppl always haf a misconception. A professional nid nt always haf da solution to his/her problems.. I'm ppl's love councillor, but I'm able to solve others' problem cos as an outsider, no self-denial wil b present. However, if a professional is to solve his/her problems, self-denial wil b present, and no solutions wil b met.. Cos all I can say self-denial property is within each human themselves.. It's som how quite hard to get rid of it.. So som how a bit contradictory of a professional cun solve his own problems..
U say nth
U juz looked away
I juz look down
I juz stuttered
Whenever I wanna tok 2 U
Cos I'm too nervous
Y nervous, I oso dunno
I'm nt a man of words
Juz an uncouth guy
Hu juz uses brute force
Nt words to solve problems
I tend to think far,
But yet U nv notice it
I juz dunno wad to say
But lied 2 U
I no longer like U
I love U
But I juz dunno how 2 say it
Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 10:12 pm
Sunday, June 19, 2005
'Flare!'
I dunno wad happen 2 me 2day.. Juz flare up! Okie, gues I juz start frm da morning den..
Woke up at 0515, cos I gg to airport to fetch my dad frm airport.. Came bac frm Switzerland.. Den okie la.. Had da family breakfast of Roti Pratas.. Den I went out to study wif frens la.. My dear brothers.. Haha.. Den study til lik 1330? Den went to haf lunch..
Aft lunch, we went shopping la.. Window shopping la.. No money liao.. How to buy? Den oso dunno wad happen la, I bought 2 dvds.. Hitch n Constantine.. Dey r gr8 movies ba, tt's y I buy? Dunno la.. Juz buy la.. Den went arcade to race.. Played Daytona.. Haiz.. I've deproved liao la.. Damn slack wif my timing lor.. 17.65s.. Dotz.. Damn slow lor.. My record was 16.45s de lorz.. Haha..
Gt hm, den watch da Hitch movie.. Damn nice la.. But funny oso la.. Den I switch off da com, den kena beaten up.. Shld haf juz return a big, hard n heavy blow on his sausage along wif da 2 fishballs.. Den haf my dinner.. Ate (1/4) box of choco-mint ice-cream, 2 bars of red bean potong ice-cream.. I oso dunno y I eat so much ice-cream..
I gt nth to say abt anything,but if i can rrly express my feelings out to a gal I lik, I wld say dis:
"People had always hope that they can fly. They pray to to God to let them fly. They tried jumping up but landed with a hard 'Thump'. I had also wanted to fly, but I know you are the one who can really make me fly. The feelingof flying high will be in me. I like you. Not I ike you anymore, but I love you."
Last but nt least a poem,
U make me laugh
U make me cry
U make me fly
U make me land
U gave me hope
Yet U r da 1 hu crushed it
I dunno hu's fault
But I noe it's my fault
My fault in lots of areas
Went to think too far
Yet holding on to an immpossible dream
U grumbled,
I said nth but say dere's sch tml
U cried,
I lend u my shoulder
I rrly care 4 U
I din show it openly
But I do it all in da backgrd
I dun blame anyone
I rrly lik U
I love U
Woke up at 0515, cos I gg to airport to fetch my dad frm airport.. Came bac frm Switzerland.. Den okie la.. Had da family breakfast of Roti Pratas.. Den I went out to study wif frens la.. My dear brothers.. Haha.. Den study til lik 1330? Den went to haf lunch..
Aft lunch, we went shopping la.. Window shopping la.. No money liao.. How to buy? Den oso dunno wad happen la, I bought 2 dvds.. Hitch n Constantine.. Dey r gr8 movies ba, tt's y I buy? Dunno la.. Juz buy la.. Den went arcade to race.. Played Daytona.. Haiz.. I've deproved liao la.. Damn slack wif my timing lor.. 17.65s.. Dotz.. Damn slow lor.. My record was 16.45s de lorz.. Haha..
Gt hm, den watch da Hitch movie.. Damn nice la.. But funny oso la.. Den I switch off da com, den kena beaten up.. Shld haf juz return a big, hard n heavy blow on his sausage along wif da 2 fishballs.. Den haf my dinner.. Ate (1/4) box of choco-mint ice-cream, 2 bars of red bean potong ice-cream.. I oso dunno y I eat so much ice-cream..
I gt nth to say abt anything,but if i can rrly express my feelings out to a gal I lik, I wld say dis:
"People had always hope that they can fly. They pray to to God to let them fly. They tried jumping up but landed with a hard 'Thump'. I had also wanted to fly, but I know you are the one who can really make me fly. The feelingof flying high will be in me. I like you. Not I ike you anymore, but I love you."
Last but nt least a poem,
U make me laugh
U make me cry
U make me fly
U make me land
U gave me hope
Yet U r da 1 hu crushed it
I dunno hu's fault
But I noe it's my fault
My fault in lots of areas
Went to think too far
Yet holding on to an immpossible dream
U grumbled,
I said nth but say dere's sch tml
U cried,
I lend u my shoulder
I rrly care 4 U
I din show it openly
But I do it all in da backgrd
I dun blame anyone
I rrly lik U
I love U
Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 10:30 pm
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
'Self Reflection'
I finally is able to grow another inch taller.. Nt literally.. But become wiser le.. I've finally come to light tt I shld nt be distracted by other things.. Objective is to do well lorz.. Shld juz concentrate in wad a person in my age doin.. I mean dos stil pursuing their studies.. Hee.. I've experienced it myself.. Seen it myself.. I juz wanna ask sth, "Y am I seeing all dos sad cases? But nt dos happy endings de?"
Now back to square 1.. I wanna attack on 1 of the sayin tt usually associated wif realtionships.. Esp dos tt r broken 1s.. "Dun give up a forest because of a tree" Ok, dere is nth wrong wif it, but I gues I look frm another perspective tt makes dis saying wrong.. So no offence hor.. K, haf u heard b4 da wind, leaf, tree story? Wad if da tree dun wan, den da forest is lik all about da sam kind.. Wen u give up da tree isn't it equal to giving up da whole forest except for a few trees? I noe a bit lik Mathematical Induction la.. If P(k) is true, den P(k+1) is true.. So in 1 sense, P(give up 1 tree) den P(giving up da whole forest) is true for some trees..
K, I gues I musn't attack 2 much ba.. If nt, I wil offend dos r rather erm.. Romance-oriented? Haha.. I muz say sth.. I write dos paragraphs tt look lik poems, som r written out of pure entertainment but som r rrly wen I'm heartbroken n sad.. Dos 'poems' wich rrly show my true feelings r dere 4 u all to figure out.. But all I can give u a clue is tt 1 is in April, May, June. As in wich 1, u go n gues ba..
I went 4 a movie 2day.. Watch Mr and Mrs Smith.. Cool movie.. Den action packed la.. Den da story a bit funny la.. But in da end, dun even noe wad's story all abt.. Haha.. But it's at least beta den Flight Of Pheonix.. Haha..
I noe U
I noe Ur existence
I noe I lik U
But I dunno abt U
U r too gd 4 me
I'm way too bad 4 U
So I gues it's best tt I 4get U
U cried once in front of me
I dunno wad to do
But cld juz offer U my shoulder
All I wanna say is dis:
你不愿走在旅途上却孤零零也不愿看日出没人陪不愿自己一个人,
但我愿陪你走在旅途上愿每天陪你看日出你肯接受我吗?
Now back to square 1.. I wanna attack on 1 of the sayin tt usually associated wif realtionships.. Esp dos tt r broken 1s.. "Dun give up a forest because of a tree" Ok, dere is nth wrong wif it, but I gues I look frm another perspective tt makes dis saying wrong.. So no offence hor.. K, haf u heard b4 da wind, leaf, tree story? Wad if da tree dun wan, den da forest is lik all about da sam kind.. Wen u give up da tree isn't it equal to giving up da whole forest except for a few trees? I noe a bit lik Mathematical Induction la.. If P(k) is true, den P(k+1) is true.. So in 1 sense, P(give up 1 tree) den P(giving up da whole forest) is true for some trees..
K, I gues I musn't attack 2 much ba.. If nt, I wil offend dos r rather erm.. Romance-oriented? Haha.. I muz say sth.. I write dos paragraphs tt look lik poems, som r written out of pure entertainment but som r rrly wen I'm heartbroken n sad.. Dos 'poems' wich rrly show my true feelings r dere 4 u all to figure out.. But all I can give u a clue is tt 1 is in April, May, June. As in wich 1, u go n gues ba..
I went 4 a movie 2day.. Watch Mr and Mrs Smith.. Cool movie.. Den action packed la.. Den da story a bit funny la.. But in da end, dun even noe wad's story all abt.. Haha.. But it's at least beta den Flight Of Pheonix.. Haha..
I noe U
I noe Ur existence
I noe I lik U
But I dunno abt U
U r too gd 4 me
I'm way too bad 4 U
So I gues it's best tt I 4get U
U cried once in front of me
I dunno wad to do
But cld juz offer U my shoulder
All I wanna say is dis:
你不愿走在旅途上却孤零零也不愿看日出没人陪不愿自己一个人,
但我愿陪你走在旅途上愿每天陪你看日出你肯接受我吗?
Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 8:56 pm
Sunday, June 12, 2005
'Back from Camp.. Finally'
I'm finally bac frm da leadership camp.. 2 day 1 nite camp.. Haiz.. It's a gd experience 4 me yet somtimes I feel it's somhow a bit of a bad encounter 4 me.. Haiz.. I noe it's contradictory.. But I gues I juz write out da whole prog den mayb u can judge 4 me? Haha..
11/6/2005
First day arriving at camp.. [duh!] Den as usual.. Ppl streaming it late @ ard 0930+.. Haiz.. It's da usual S'pore spirit being late.. Haha.. Haiz.. Juz dun understand wad's so gd abt being lat? Dun dey noe it's always gd 2 b early den lat? Wad's so diff abt being early? [k, enuff of scolding]. Den we went to play ice-breaking games.. [I dread dis part particularly] Anw, we only played 1 ice-breaking game.. it's called "Do you lik ur neighbour", in fact it's similar to "Blow wind blow".. Y cun juz say play "Blow wind blow"? Haha.. Den anw we proceed on to haf lectures on how to b a gd, professional leader.. *faint* Anw, it's ok la..
In da first speech, we were taught how to classify ourselves in2 2 classes of leaders.. 1 is 'being forced to lead' and d other 1 is 'want to lead, but dunno if gd enuf to lead'. Den I was classified under grp 2 [it's expected man!] den was so called 'easier to b trained' kind.. Lol.. Den aft da lecture, we went to haf our lunch.. Tokin abt lunch it juz mak me fearful of it.. Cos it was lik smudge wif balahcen [sry if spelt wrongly].. Den i was allergic to dis la.. Den u wil noe wad happen at nite.. Okie anw, aft lunch went 2 play games..
While playin games, we r ahead of time at first.. Den later while playin a wet game, we slowed down.. K, toking abt da wet game, I muz rrly say sth.. Da objective of playin dis wet game is to get da pingpong ball frm da base of da container.. Den da container gt holes at da sides.. In fact gt holes all over da container.. Den I a bit tired den slepy sleepy liao.. Den I oso dunno wad happen 2 me, I become the cover 4 da base of container.. Den in da end, I gt drenched la.. But oso gd la.. Woke me up.. Haha.. But da thing is we nv complete d game la.. Haha.. But let me had a shower 4 nth.. Haha.. Wak up shower.. Lol. Aft tt we went 2 cook our own dinner.. Haha.. Den I cun tak it le.. Cos gt 1 gal pissed me off..
Tt gal rrly pissed me off lorz.. Kip asking "haf u eaten?", "u eat lik tt.. enuff ar?" Wa lao! *roll on floor, covering my ears* Though I'm big-sized, but I dun eat much k? Piangz.. I no mood 2 eat wad.. Som more in camp, tired n sian 1/2.. U tink gt mood 2 eat ar? Haiz.. Den aft diner, we went 2 watch Chicken Run.. It's a lame movie I muz agree.. Where it shows leadership qualities? Haiz.. Chicken teach other chickens how to fly, is tt leadership quality? Lol.
Aft watching tt lame movie, we gt Night Crawler activity.. It juz lik damn bo liao.. Provided wif a tiny n it's real tiny candle as light source.. Den it's lik da gals were so scared tt lightsticks given to us wer given 2 da gals lorz.. Haha.. Den I was given da location of Music Room in dark.. Haha.. But gt it anw.. Haha.. Den aft wash up n den went 2 slp.. Haha.. Slept at 1230.. Haha..
12/6/2005
Second day of camp [duh! den wad? 3rd day of camp?], woke up at 0612.. Haha.. Den was damn groggy.. Gt a splitting headache.. Den anw do my daily routine den drag myself to da parade square n do PT.. Den damn tired.. Juz do along lorz.. But it's rather slack la.. Juz 1 simple round of running den som jumping jacks.. Haha.. Isn't it slack? Haha..
Aft tt we r supposed to haf a prog called "The Learning Journey". But due to wet weather, it was cancelled.. Den we played a rather okay game called "Powerball", but da games I play all become a draw.. Haiz.. Haha.. Den da weather turned beta, den we proceed with our tt intended prog.. We went Sembawang Park.. Went 2 a mosque and den Bottle Tree Village Restaurant.. Den we took a 2.8km route out.. Haha.. Damn tired frm da walking.. Haha.. Went to Northpt n haf lunch dere.. Haha.. Went back to sch n break camp.. Den off I go.. And here am I writing dis entry.. Haha..
Haha.. Tt's da end of my camp report.. Hehe.. Den let me proceed on to my rather usual content.. Haha..
I'm a bit relax frm da camp.. Rrly.. But juz a confused feeling came.. So I tink I wil juz write dis poem out..
I look back again
I asked myself again
Does True Love exist?
I juz cldn't believe its existence
I noe no matter how much I say
U wldn't pick it up cos it's trash 2 U
No matter how much hints I dropped
U always failed to pick it up
Aft looking at da poems,
U nv fail to compliment me
But do U noe tt
My heart bleeds everytime u say tt?
I begin to reflect
I asked myself
Y am I attracted 2 U?
Da answer is simple
It's Ur character tt attracts
It's hard to come by
But mayb U n me will nv develop
Nt cos I dun love U anymore
Cos I dun wish to hurt U anymore
Cos I noe it's gonna b tiring
I rrly dun wanna hurt U anymore
I wld rather
Tak tt blade for Ur sake
I cried in my dreams
Nt cos I gt a nightmare
But I'm worried 4 Ur safety n health
I rrly wish to care 4 U
Cos of U
I've b-com a skeleton mentally
Cos of U
I changed totally frm da rough to civilised
Lastly I cldn't say anymore
But wad I rrly wish to say is below:
忘了有多久，没听到你对我说你最爱的故事
我想了很久，我开始慌了，是不是我做错了什么
你哭着对我说，童话里都是骗人的
我不可能是你的王子 也许你不会懂，
从你说爱我以后我的天空星星都亮了 我愿变成童话里，
你爱的那个天使张开双手变成翅膀守护你.
11/6/2005
First day arriving at camp.. [duh!] Den as usual.. Ppl streaming it late @ ard 0930+.. Haiz.. It's da usual S'pore spirit being late.. Haha.. Haiz.. Juz dun understand wad's so gd abt being lat? Dun dey noe it's always gd 2 b early den lat? Wad's so diff abt being early? [k, enuff of scolding]. Den we went to play ice-breaking games.. [I dread dis part particularly] Anw, we only played 1 ice-breaking game.. it's called "Do you lik ur neighbour", in fact it's similar to "Blow wind blow".. Y cun juz say play "Blow wind blow"? Haha.. Den anw we proceed on to haf lectures on how to b a gd, professional leader.. *faint* Anw, it's ok la..
In da first speech, we were taught how to classify ourselves in2 2 classes of leaders.. 1 is 'being forced to lead' and d other 1 is 'want to lead, but dunno if gd enuf to lead'. Den I was classified under grp 2 [it's expected man!] den was so called 'easier to b trained' kind.. Lol.. Den aft da lecture, we went to haf our lunch.. Tokin abt lunch it juz mak me fearful of it.. Cos it was lik smudge wif balahcen [sry if spelt wrongly].. Den i was allergic to dis la.. Den u wil noe wad happen at nite.. Okie anw, aft lunch went 2 play games..
While playin games, we r ahead of time at first.. Den later while playin a wet game, we slowed down.. K, toking abt da wet game, I muz rrly say sth.. Da objective of playin dis wet game is to get da pingpong ball frm da base of da container.. Den da container gt holes at da sides.. In fact gt holes all over da container.. Den I a bit tired den slepy sleepy liao.. Den I oso dunno wad happen 2 me, I become the cover 4 da base of container.. Den in da end, I gt drenched la.. But oso gd la.. Woke me up.. Haha.. But da thing is we nv complete d game la.. Haha.. But let me had a shower 4 nth.. Haha.. Wak up shower.. Lol. Aft tt we went 2 cook our own dinner.. Haha.. Den I cun tak it le.. Cos gt 1 gal pissed me off..
Tt gal rrly pissed me off lorz.. Kip asking "haf u eaten?", "u eat lik tt.. enuff ar?" Wa lao! *roll on floor, covering my ears* Though I'm big-sized, but I dun eat much k? Piangz.. I no mood 2 eat wad.. Som more in camp, tired n sian 1/2.. U tink gt mood 2 eat ar? Haiz.. Den aft diner, we went 2 watch Chicken Run.. It's a lame movie I muz agree.. Where it shows leadership qualities? Haiz.. Chicken teach other chickens how to fly, is tt leadership quality? Lol.
Aft watching tt lame movie, we gt Night Crawler activity.. It juz lik damn bo liao.. Provided wif a tiny n it's real tiny candle as light source.. Den it's lik da gals were so scared tt lightsticks given to us wer given 2 da gals lorz.. Haha.. Den I was given da location of Music Room in dark.. Haha.. But gt it anw.. Haha.. Den aft wash up n den went 2 slp.. Haha.. Slept at 1230.. Haha..
12/6/2005
Second day of camp [duh! den wad? 3rd day of camp?], woke up at 0612.. Haha.. Den was damn groggy.. Gt a splitting headache.. Den anw do my daily routine den drag myself to da parade square n do PT.. Den damn tired.. Juz do along lorz.. But it's rather slack la.. Juz 1 simple round of running den som jumping jacks.. Haha.. Isn't it slack? Haha..
Aft tt we r supposed to haf a prog called "The Learning Journey". But due to wet weather, it was cancelled.. Den we played a rather okay game called "Powerball", but da games I play all become a draw.. Haiz.. Haha.. Den da weather turned beta, den we proceed with our tt intended prog.. We went Sembawang Park.. Went 2 a mosque and den Bottle Tree Village Restaurant.. Den we took a 2.8km route out.. Haha.. Damn tired frm da walking.. Haha.. Went to Northpt n haf lunch dere.. Haha.. Went back to sch n break camp.. Den off I go.. And here am I writing dis entry.. Haha..
Haha.. Tt's da end of my camp report.. Hehe.. Den let me proceed on to my rather usual content.. Haha..
I'm a bit relax frm da camp.. Rrly.. But juz a confused feeling came.. So I tink I wil juz write dis poem out..
I look back again
I asked myself again
Does True Love exist?
I juz cldn't believe its existence
I noe no matter how much I say
U wldn't pick it up cos it's trash 2 U
No matter how much hints I dropped
U always failed to pick it up
Aft looking at da poems,
U nv fail to compliment me
But do U noe tt
My heart bleeds everytime u say tt?
I begin to reflect
I asked myself
Y am I attracted 2 U?
Da answer is simple
It's Ur character tt attracts
It's hard to come by
But mayb U n me will nv develop
Nt cos I dun love U anymore
Cos I dun wish to hurt U anymore
Cos I noe it's gonna b tiring
I rrly dun wanna hurt U anymore
I wld rather
Tak tt blade for Ur sake
I cried in my dreams
Nt cos I gt a nightmare
But I'm worried 4 Ur safety n health
I rrly wish to care 4 U
Cos of U
I've b-com a skeleton mentally
Cos of U
I changed totally frm da rough to civilised
Lastly I cldn't say anymore
But wad I rrly wish to say is below:
忘了有多久，没听到你对我说你最爱的故事
我想了很久，我开始慌了，是不是我做错了什么
你哭着对我说，童话里都是骗人的
我不可能是你的王子 也许你不会懂，
从你说爱我以后我的天空星星都亮了 我愿变成童话里，
你爱的那个天使张开双手变成翅膀守护你.
Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 10:00 pm
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
'Careless - As Always..'
I gt my maths test bac.. I rrly went dotz lorz.. I shld haf got lik 47? But in da end? Gt a pathetic 40.. Cos of wad? 1 word only.. 'Careless'.. Haiz.. Wen wil i get away frm tt damn thing of careless? Haiz.. Ppl say dis mark is ok de.. Nid nt worry so much.. But dun dey understand? I gt help de.. I cun perform! I rrly rrly wan to score de.. But den how? Juz gt such a pathetic A grade.. Nt tt i'm tryin to show off.. But den is lik I shld haf done well de lorz.. Cos dey r my strongest areas compared to da APGP chapter.. Haiz.. Juz dunno wad 2 do.. :"(
I juz dunno wad to do le lorz.. Stress piling up.. I gt tons and tons of work 2 clear.. I rrly dunno wad to do le lorz.. I even forgo chances of tution le.. Nt tt i purposely wan 2.. But rrly damn stressed up.. Now gg to sick le.. Fever on sun.. Mild 1 of cos.. Den gt splitting headache yesterday.. Den my tution had to go.. Haiz.. Juz dunno wad to do..
2day, juz went to release myself frm 1 CCA I joined.. Dun ask wich CCA am I released frm.. If u noe, juz kip quiet.. Dun say it out.. Cos I dun wan sb to noe.. Or rather I dun wan to let anybody to noe.. Except dos hu wer wif me 2day..
I'm damn stress now.. Juz dunno wad to do.. Very very confused.. Y? Juz tell me da reason.. I juz wanna noe.. Cos of u, I tried to control.. Now u r drifting away n away.. Colder and colder.. Here am I drenched.. Nt wif rain but wif my own tears.. I'm left wif no choices now.. So am I penning down dis poem..
Wen I look into ur eyes,
I juz dunno wad to say,
So I juz turned away..
There had been bad wordings abt u,
I juz put them aside,
Cos I noe u r nt in dos description.
U turned colder n colder everyday,
Juz went thru me.
Wen u fell sick,
I cldn't help it,
But felt d pain n sad.
All now I cld say and only say,
Nt "I love u", but a chorus:
我会轻轻在你耳边对你说...对你说...
我爱你...爱着你...
就向老鼠爱大米...
不管有多少风雨..我都会依然陪着你..
多想你...想着你..
不管有多么的苦只要能让你开心...
我什么都愿意...
这样爱你...
I juz dunno wad to do le lorz.. Stress piling up.. I gt tons and tons of work 2 clear.. I rrly dunno wad to do le lorz.. I even forgo chances of tution le.. Nt tt i purposely wan 2.. But rrly damn stressed up.. Now gg to sick le.. Fever on sun.. Mild 1 of cos.. Den gt splitting headache yesterday.. Den my tution had to go.. Haiz.. Juz dunno wad to do..
2day, juz went to release myself frm 1 CCA I joined.. Dun ask wich CCA am I released frm.. If u noe, juz kip quiet.. Dun say it out.. Cos I dun wan sb to noe.. Or rather I dun wan to let anybody to noe.. Except dos hu wer wif me 2day..
I'm damn stress now.. Juz dunno wad to do.. Very very confused.. Y? Juz tell me da reason.. I juz wanna noe.. Cos of u, I tried to control.. Now u r drifting away n away.. Colder and colder.. Here am I drenched.. Nt wif rain but wif my own tears.. I'm left wif no choices now.. So am I penning down dis poem..
Wen I look into ur eyes,
I juz dunno wad to say,
So I juz turned away..
There had been bad wordings abt u,
I juz put them aside,
Cos I noe u r nt in dos description.
U turned colder n colder everyday,
Juz went thru me.
Wen u fell sick,
I cldn't help it,
But felt d pain n sad.
All now I cld say and only say,
Nt "I love u", but a chorus:
我会轻轻在你耳边对你说...对你说...
我爱你...爱着你...
就向老鼠爱大米...
不管有多少风雨..我都会依然陪着你..
多想你...想着你..
不管有多么的苦只要能让你开心...
我什么都愿意...
这样爱你...
Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 9:01 pm
Saturday, June 04, 2005
'Saturday - Boring Day As Always'
2day is a typical boring saturday.. Nth to do.. Juz mayb crap along wif frens? Haiz.. I oso dunno wad 2 do.. 2day happen quite a bit of things.. K, let me start frm da morning.. Haha..
Morning wok up.. Cos gt Project Work miting @ 1000 ma.. Den slept at abt 3 in da morning.. wok up thinking it was 1000, but den realise tt it's only lik 0830? Den I was damn groggy and confused.. Lik vomitting den oso din vomit.. Den splitting headache came.. Den cun tahan.. Juz bear wif it.. Den went to haf breakfast wif parents la.. Ate 3 egg pratas.. Den a bit beta liao.. Den went sch via my dad's car.. Den attended the miting..
At da project work miting, we finally finished our GPP.. Thank god man.. We finally finished.. Other groups r lik struggling? Haha.. But we r able to finish this GPP is cos of da great help lent by our teacher, and most of all is our leader of cos.. Cos b4 he left 4 Beijing, he completed half of the job.. So wen I tak over, I juz develop all dese ideas of his.. So his effort is da most in my group.. Haha.. Aft finish our project, I juz went to haf lunch wif my 2 other brothers.. Haha..
Had lunch @ LJS.. Den sat down dere n tok almost everything under da sun.. Den went shopping 4 som cute stuff 4 san sao as proposed by san di.. So went shopping, den da ge(jy) was shoeing his well-known sian half face.. Den I was lik gg to die oso due to lack of slp.. So we at first planned gg aracade.. But den we all damn sian, sian til dun even wanna go arcade.. Den we juz say go online n tok cock.. Den half way, da ge went to slp.. Haiz.. Expected oso, always stonin on MSN.. Mayb juz call him a stoner ba..
Den now, I'm back writing dis sian half entry.. Da weather so freaking hot! Juz damn sian lorz.. Dun even noe wad to do.. Though it rained juz now, it's stil freaking hot.. Haiz.. No mood to do anything.. Haha.. Haiz..
I finally understand wad u meant
I finally realise tt
I tend to think too much,
Bringing myself much unnecessary fear n worries
I do nt understand wad had happened
But I do understand a fact
I dun haf the qualifications as u haf stated 4 a guy
I wld juz gladly drift away
As I get closer 2 u,
U drifted much further away
I tried looking 4 u
But u juz dissappeared
I rrly miss u
Wld u juz come bac?
I wil rrly say 'I love you'
Cos it's frm my heart
Morning wok up.. Cos gt Project Work miting @ 1000 ma.. Den slept at abt 3 in da morning.. wok up thinking it was 1000, but den realise tt it's only lik 0830? Den I was damn groggy and confused.. Lik vomitting den oso din vomit.. Den splitting headache came.. Den cun tahan.. Juz bear wif it.. Den went to haf breakfast wif parents la.. Ate 3 egg pratas.. Den a bit beta liao.. Den went sch via my dad's car.. Den attended the miting..
At da project work miting, we finally finished our GPP.. Thank god man.. We finally finished.. Other groups r lik struggling? Haha.. But we r able to finish this GPP is cos of da great help lent by our teacher, and most of all is our leader of cos.. Cos b4 he left 4 Beijing, he completed half of the job.. So wen I tak over, I juz develop all dese ideas of his.. So his effort is da most in my group.. Haha.. Aft finish our project, I juz went to haf lunch wif my 2 other brothers.. Haha..
Had lunch @ LJS.. Den sat down dere n tok almost everything under da sun.. Den went shopping 4 som cute stuff 4 san sao as proposed by san di.. So went shopping, den da ge(jy) was shoeing his well-known sian half face.. Den I was lik gg to die oso due to lack of slp.. So we at first planned gg aracade.. But den we all damn sian, sian til dun even wanna go arcade.. Den we juz say go online n tok cock.. Den half way, da ge went to slp.. Haiz.. Expected oso, always stonin on MSN.. Mayb juz call him a stoner ba..
Den now, I'm back writing dis sian half entry.. Da weather so freaking hot! Juz damn sian lorz.. Dun even noe wad to do.. Though it rained juz now, it's stil freaking hot.. Haiz.. No mood to do anything.. Haha.. Haiz..
I finally understand wad u meant
I finally realise tt
I tend to think too much,
Bringing myself much unnecessary fear n worries
I do nt understand wad had happened
But I do understand a fact
I dun haf the qualifications as u haf stated 4 a guy
I wld juz gladly drift away
As I get closer 2 u,
U drifted much further away
I tried looking 4 u
But u juz dissappeared
I rrly miss u
Wld u juz come bac?
I wil rrly say 'I love you'
Cos it's frm my heart
Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 5:17 pm
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
'Phy Camp'
2day went NUS 4 my physics lesson.. Dun even wada hell dos lecturers tokin abt.. Wad writing wif protons? Den u noe how to write? Juz use a electromagnetic field to deviate the protons n write.. Haha.. Dun even noe wada hell is nuclear writing.. Dotz..
Anw, 2day I finally saw mass spectrometer.. Haha.. Man, it is ok la.. Nt big.. But d chem juz left out some part of the mass spectrometer lik X-ray gun? D electron gun is juz to bombard away d 1s electron, den X-ray gun is juz to supply d energy wich is high enuf for the targetted electron to escape frm the quantum shell tt the electron is in.. Lik electron A is contained in quantum shell B. Den under effect of X-ray gun, electron A wil b supplied enuf energy to escape away frm quantum shell B.. Haha..
I gt hm aft an ardous journey frm NUS.. Haha.. Gt hm.. Den eat lorz.. Den funny part is I ate my diner in 2 parts.. First ate d leftover diner left yesterday.. Den went to khatib mac n buy a fish filet student meal.. Haha..
I finally believe in True Love once more..
Though I've never experienced it b4,
But it's gr8 2 c ppl enjoy it
Though it can nv be da same as b4,
But I hope u r fine wif ur new environment
Juz haf a little wish and is very simple
Juz rmb tt I existed b4
I smiled for something you said
It made me feel I was not alone
I walked on and did not look back
I had written dis
Out of sadness n love torned
Juz wanna let u noe
I stil love u..
Anw, 2day I finally saw mass spectrometer.. Haha.. Man, it is ok la.. Nt big.. But d chem juz left out some part of the mass spectrometer lik X-ray gun? D electron gun is juz to bombard away d 1s electron, den X-ray gun is juz to supply d energy wich is high enuf for the targetted electron to escape frm the quantum shell tt the electron is in.. Lik electron A is contained in quantum shell B. Den under effect of X-ray gun, electron A wil b supplied enuf energy to escape away frm quantum shell B.. Haha..
I gt hm aft an ardous journey frm NUS.. Haha.. Gt hm.. Den eat lorz.. Den funny part is I ate my diner in 2 parts.. First ate d leftover diner left yesterday.. Den went to khatib mac n buy a fish filet student meal.. Haha..
I finally believe in True Love once more..
Though I've never experienced it b4,
But it's gr8 2 c ppl enjoy it
Though it can nv be da same as b4,
But I hope u r fine wif ur new environment
Juz haf a little wish and is very simple
Juz rmb tt I existed b4
I smiled for something you said
It made me feel I was not alone
I walked on and did not look back
I had written dis
Out of sadness n love torned
Juz wanna let u noe
I stil love u..
Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 9:27 pm