[T]eachings
"A fierce lion is never nice enough to be tamed, a spring wil absorb all and return all in a single shot."
"The greatest enemy is oneself. The highest order of class of sword and way of handling is being selfless."
"To keep forgiving oneself, finding excuses for oneself is the most undesirable sin to yourself."
"Blade is just an instrument, the spirit of the blade lies in your skills and principles."
"Intense anger and sadness are double-edged swords, however it's up to the individual on how one weild it."
[S]amurai
Writer : Xiaofeixia
Age : Since 1988
Aspire : Aeroengineer/Researcher

[T]rAiLs LeFt By..



[W]arriors..
Jake Yi Herrick Shan Sheng Yang Cheng Han Elizabeth Prawn Vonn Jocelyn Slayerz Angelina

[S]hrines
Tears Anger Coded Google mail Movies Frenster Blogger Quotes Photos Search Dog Chinese Downloads Singtel SMS Chinese English Dictionary Altavista Translation

[A]rchives
December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 May 2010

[G]oodies
Technicalalities, Physics, Science, Designing, Architecture, Computer, Sendimental songs, Stoning, Chionging work, Repairing, Pooling

[E]nemies
Irresponisble people, Lip service, Assholes, Humanities, Slackers, Dominators, Heartbreaking, Idiots, ASBS+ACBC people

[S]crolls
"Hope is the worst of evils for it prolongs the torment of man."
-Nietzsche
"He who has enough why can bear almost any how."
-Frederich N.
"Life must be lived as play, playing certain games, singing and dancing"
-Plato
"Some are born great while some has greatness trust upon them"
-President Roosevelt
"Kind words can be short but their echoes are endless"
-Mother Teresa
"The fool wonders, the wise asks"
-Benjamin Disraeli
"Many times we find ourselves lost, but how many times do we actually find ourselves avoiding the obvious solution?"
"Everyone's destiny is not revealed to him or her till the very last minute, why not we craft our own destiny?"
"Prophecy is just a prediction of what you may have in future, but it is more of a guideline anyway."
"You fight, and you say you make sacrifices for others. However, do you really understand the true meaning of sacrifice?"
"Unless it is a high chance of success, if not don't even try doing it. You may be suffering for it in the worst way."
"The legacy is not how many you have killed, but the legacy lies in how much have you accomplished benefitting others around you."
"You may be harmed by others, but do take pity on those who inflict harm on you. It is because they are lonely and ignorant."
"You ask for trouble, and when trouble did come to you, or results not to your liking, just accept it. Because you ask for it, it's yours."
"Somethings are better to be said than done. However, how many times have we acted on our own accord without considering those around us?"
"Things are not the way they seem. You must look beyond and interprete the meaning behind the thing that you see, not by mere appearance"
"If you are called to clear up the shit left behind by others, do not curse and swear. Be positive. At least you learn how to clear up mess, while the others do not know"
"Masking yourself is a thing to do when you are confused, but not when you are trying to hide something"
"What's yours is yours, do not deny its existence."
"You persevere, you stayed without other's knowledge and you labour for them. How many actually came and repay you?"
"We always have a choice, we're made of the choices we chose and we can always choose to make the right choice"
-Spiderman 3
"Life is full of choices. Either you get to choose or you get chosen"
"Compliments boosts people, criticsms pushes people off edges. Why not encourage and give compliments?"

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Thursday, June 23, 2005

'Confused'

Heya.. I dunno wad happen 2 me liao.. One time I was avoiding food, den now I'm eating a lot.. It's rrly very wad lorz.. Dun even noe wad am I doin.. I rrly gt my ass on my head n my head on my ass.. Dotz.. Haiz..

Days of exams r comin near.. My preparartion 4 da major tests is pretty ok la.. But my GP n Chinese is sure gone case liao la.. Haiz.. So many 2 memorize.. 2 short stories 2 memorise, den 3 poems 2 memorise.. Haiz.. den 2day went to haf my physics tuition.. Den I found out my revision stil nt enough.. Stil gt som tt I 4get.. Haiz.. Circular motion stil nt so bad.. But den my weakest part, da measurements, errors n approximation.. I juz cun grab hold of tt concept.. It juz sux lorz.. It juz goes 4 da sam 4 da Gravitational Studies.. Haiz.. Y bother to study 4 theory? Isn't dis 4 prac? 4 theory wad errorrs do we haf? Only calculation n concept errors only lorz.. Where gt measurement errors? Haiz.. But anw, physics is more of a common sense thing la.. So mayb nex time muz use more common sense n think lorz.. Haha..


I oso dunno wad's gonna happen 2 me.. I seem 2 b more n more self-centred.. Ppl muz always follow my rule of command.. Lik I dun actually argue my way thru de lorz.. But now lately in dis mth, I kept arguing 2 haf my way out.. Lik watching movies rite? I actually used to follow ppl's opinion, but den 2day I actually argued to get dem to watch it in Yishun.. Haiz.. Y haf I b-com so bad? cos I'm AB blood type? Haiz.. Ppl say AB type ppl tend to b self centred, den always dun render help 2 ppl.. Gues I'm getting it closer n closer to dos description.. I muz say sry 2 dos ppl den.. I shld nt haf forced ppl to follow my decision.. Cos it's too self centred liao.. Shld haf juz follow da majority.. Shld nt haf forced ppl to follow me.. Haiz.. I oso dunno wad had gt in2 my hea.. Haiz..

I now a bit all lost in dis big big complicated world.. Haiz.. Juz let me rmb a song lyrics.. "I'm a big big gal.. In dis big big world.." Haiz.. 4 me, gues it suits me of course wif da word 'gal' wif 'guy' la.. Den it wil b-com "I'm a big big guy.. In dis big big world.." I oso dunno y la.. Juz b-com confused.. I've doin self-reflection lately.. Found out tt I've gt quite lots of black seeds.. Haiz.. Had been a bad guy recently.. Haiz.. Gues I'm rrly a professional Killer den.. Kip killing ppl n b-coming a bad guy.. Haiz.. Where has da gd guy in me gone 2? Haiz.. *scratching my head n thinking n sighing*

Now, I'm all alone fighting dis darkness of lonliness myself.. Stress n everything juz seems to chiong at me str.. Lik wad an army wil do wen given da order to charge.. Den now I'm being charged at.. Haiz.. Juz lik in LOTR(ROTK), where Rohan's army charged at Mordor's army of Orcs.. In which stress n everything is lik Rohan's army, den me as Mordor's army being charged at.. Haiz.. Dun even noe shld b afraid or nt? Am I sth wrong up in my mental health? Cos I ain't feeling anything besides frm stress.. But juz sense tt I may break down any moment.. Haiz.. Den now I'm stoning rite here writing dis long entry I suppose..

In fact rite now, I feel lik doin lots of crazy things.. Lik walk rite str up 2 her n say "I'm all bottled up, can u b da 1 2 open dis bottle 4 me?"; den another crazy 1 is I wanna smash som nails in2 my desk.. Haiz.. Or even beta, smash my fone wif a hammer.. Haiz.. Y am I so crazy.. Haiz..

I came by a song called "hui zhe chi pang de nu hai" but den da cheeky me gonna change it to "hui zhe chi pang de nan hai" so of cos da lyrics oso change la.. Here it goes:

当 我还是 一个懵懂的男孩
遇到爱 不懂爱
从过去 到现在
直到你 也离开
留我在云海徘徊 明白没人能取代 你曾给我的信赖
See me fly, I'm proud to fly up high 不能一直依赖 别人给我拥戴
Believe me I can fly, I'm singing in the sky 就算风雨覆盖 我也不怕重来

我 已不是 那个懵懂的男孩
遇到爱 用力爱
仍信 真爱
风雨来 不避开
谦虚把头低下来 像沙鸥来去天地 只为寻一个奇迹
See me fly, I'm proud to fly up high 生命已经打开 我要那种精彩
Believe me I can fly, I'm singing in the sky 你曾经对我说 做勇敢的男孩
我盼有一天能和你 相见 骄傲地对着天空说 是借着你的风

Let me fly I'm proud to fly up high 生命已经打开 我要那种精彩
Believe me I can fly, I'm singing in the sky 你曾经对我说 做勇敢的男孩
我盼有一天能和你 相见 骄傲地对着天空说 是借着你的风

我不会独单 因为你 都在


I gues it may nt sound smooth la.. But den I a bit too sian til I anyhow change song lyrics la.. So pardon me la.. If it sounds sucky.. Da tune is using bac da sam old tune la.. da tune of "hui zhe chi pang de nu hai" Hope u all lik it la..

Gues dis is da longest entry of da mth ba.. So nonetheless, I gonna add in da ending poem.. Dis poem comprises of 3 major parts: If u all can spot it as to which entries r they frm, den u r half-way winning n u r only left wif da scattered ones.. So here it goes and it is of cos aft some editing la.. Haha.. 4 ur info, dey r in purple cos dese r da things of da poem in all.. Here u go:

I dun really believe in Love anymore,
As much as I used to,
But I noe it exists..
It can nv b back as to wad had happened b4,
But i do really treasure u.. :(
But u juz left me all alone in d dark..
Me weeping silently.. In d dark..
True love is always to b found anywhere
As I've told myself n others..
But y am i weeping over such matters?

Cos of u, I've changed..
Frm an uncouth guy to a bit of refined guy..
Cos of u
I dropped my first tear of sadness due to love
My heart is stil weeping Frm the day u started to avoid me..:"(

If I crossed million of oceans juz to b wif u..
Swam the longest river juz to call ur name..
Wld u stil b treating me dis way?
I'm so sry if i sounded so bad..
Cos my heart is bleeding..
I can give up almost everything..

Love is so boundless
Love take so many forms..
But wad is true luv?
Can sb define it 4 me?

Cos of u
N only cos of u
I've been trying hard
To find definition of love

I could juz walk off silently
Wif a bottle of vinegar
Overturned on me
Drenched.. :"(

I've turned over
Walked alone along my path
I juz hope u r fine
Walking happily

I do wish to say anything
Cos only love can say
How much I had given 2 u
I hope u r fine n happy

I had written dis poem
Out of sadness n love torned
Juz wanna let u noeI love u..

I finally understand wad u meant
I finally realise tt
I tend to think too much,
Bringing myself much unnecessary fear n worries

I do nt understand wad had happened
But I do understand a fact
I dun haf the qualifications as u haf stated 4 a guy
I wld juz gladly drift away

As I get closer 2 u,
U drifted much further away
I tried looking 4 u
But u juz dissappeared

I rrly miss u
Wld u juz come bac?
I wil rrly say 'I love you'
Cos it's frm my heart

I no longer lik u
Cos I love u.


Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 12:00 am