[T]eachings
"A fierce lion is never nice enough to be tamed, a spring wil absorb all and return all in a single shot."
"The greatest enemy is oneself. The highest order of class of sword and way of handling is being selfless."
"To keep forgiving oneself, finding excuses for oneself is the most undesirable sin to yourself."
"Blade is just an instrument, the spirit of the blade lies in your skills and principles."
"Intense anger and sadness are double-edged swords, however it's up to the individual on how one weild it."
[S]amurai
 Writer : Xiaofeixia
Age : Since 1988
Aspire : Aeroengineer/Researcher
[T]rAiLs LeFt By..



[W]arriors..
 Jake Yi Herrick Shan Sheng Yang Cheng Han Elizabeth Prawn Vonn Jocelyn Slayerz Angelina

[S]hrines
 Tears Anger Coded Google mail Movies Frenster Blogger Quotes Photos Search Dog Chinese Downloads Singtel SMS Chinese English Dictionary Altavista Translation

[A]rchives
 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 May 2010

[G]oodies
 Technicalalities, Physics, Science, Designing, Architecture, Computer, Sendimental songs, Stoning, Chionging work, Repairing, Pooling

[E]nemies
 Irresponisble people, Lip service, Assholes, Humanities, Slackers, Dominators, Heartbreaking, Idiots, ASBS+ACBC people

[S]crolls
"Hope is the worst of evils for it prolongs the torment of man."
-Nietzsche
"He who has enough why can bear almost any how."
-Frederich N.
"Life must be lived as play, playing certain games, singing and dancing"
-Plato
"Some are born great while some has greatness trust upon them"
-President Roosevelt
"Kind words can be short but their echoes are endless"
-Mother Teresa
"The fool wonders, the wise asks"
-Benjamin Disraeli
"Many times we find ourselves lost, but how many times do we actually find ourselves avoiding the obvious solution?"
"Everyone's destiny is not revealed to him or her till the very last minute, why not we craft our own destiny?"
"Prophecy is just a prediction of what you may have in future, but it is more of a guideline anyway."
"You fight, and you say you make sacrifices for others. However, do you really understand the true meaning of sacrifice?"
"Unless it is a high chance of success, if not don't even try doing it. You may be suffering for it in the worst way."
"The legacy is not how many you have killed, but the legacy lies in how much have you accomplished benefitting others around you."
"You may be harmed by others, but do take pity on those who inflict harm on you. It is because they are lonely and ignorant."
"You ask for trouble, and when trouble did come to you, or results not to your liking, just accept it. Because you ask for it, it's yours."
"Somethings are better to be said than done. However, how many times have we acted on our own accord without considering those around us?"
"Things are not the way they seem. You must look beyond and interprete the meaning behind the thing that you see, not by mere appearance"
"If you are called to clear up the shit left behind by others, do not curse and swear. Be positive. At least you learn how to clear up mess, while the others do not know"
"Masking yourself is a thing to do when you are confused, but not when you are trying to hide something"
"What's yours is yours, do not deny its existence."
"You persevere, you stayed without other's knowledge and you labour for them. How many actually came and repay you?"
"We always have a choice, we're made of the choices we chose and we can always choose to make the right choice"
-Spiderman 3
"Life is full of choices. Either you get to choose or you get chosen"
"Compliments boosts people, criticsms pushes people off edges. Why not encourage and give compliments?"

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Tuesday, February 28, 2006

'Wadeva..'

Results of my CL-AO is cuming out in a few hrs time.. Argh.. Dun even noe if I cld prove my intention 2 b rite.. Bt I'm damn scared.. Scared nt cz I cun prove my theory or original intention, bt wad if I cun get a distinction? Haiz.. Duno ehz.. So damn confused.. Haiz..

Y muz lif b so diff 4 me? Anw, gt 2 pieces of duno gd or bad news 2 share.. My chem finally gt an A, dis A means a lot.. Cz it's da FIRST time I gt it since April.. Long huh? It's on organic.. I swam-pah tt I wana mak my organic damn strong n make it 2 my best lethal weapon.. Another news is I pass my maths thinking I wld fail it.. In my class, only 3 passed, and I was one of dos.. 2nd highest wif a score of 16/30.. Highest is 22/30.. Funny huh? Bo bian.. My law 7 shal take over n explain y is dis cirumstances taking place..

Haiz.. Gues it's tim 4 me 2 gt som sleep.. haven been slpin well 4 da past 3 days.. Haiz..


Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 11:47 pm



Friday, February 24, 2006

'Theory Established'

It's a lousy day at sch.. Damn sianz.. As usual, gt colored faces frm some teachers, den I oso sort of becom a problematic kid liaoz.. Bt hu cares? Did any1 cared?

In S'pore, once u cun do well academically, u r labelled as lousy, and all other negative labellings.. If u r a smart kid, bt wif all da negative characters u cld haf, u r stil being treasured by the society, however, if u r nt tt fantastically smart bt gt every gd qualities n characters tt each 1 dream 2 haf, u r nt praised or treasured.. Is dis practicality of the world or is it jz tt ppl r more focus wif ur bad pts rather den gd pts if u r nt tt academically well? Being academically strong, is tt gd? Is tt a benefit 2 the society or individual? Cz afterall, u r contributing 2 the society's economy if u r being treasured or wadeva.. I duno, hw's it cz I've nv been praised b4.. Bt had been stepped over countless times.. It's sort of worse den being trampled over by 1 whole pack of horses.. It's worse den tt.. In fact, it's worse den death.. U try it.. Or rather I shld say, none of u actually understand cz none of u is me..

I wonder the world now focus more on the culture of the person or the academic side of the person? Dun believe, look at the job applications ard u.. Wad's da min requirements nowadays? At least a "O" Lv cert.. Bt did dey actually ask 4 the person 2 haf gd behavior other den dos uniform occupations.. Wad abt dos private companies? If the individual can help them earn loads of money, they r treasures nt caring if dey r gd behaved or nt.. Haiz.. I sigh nt cz the world is changing.. Bt rather, I tink I wil nt be able 2 find a decent job.. Cz I'm alr being labelled as a negative 1 in the eyes of the society.. Jz a normal guy.. My existence tt doesn't matter.. Yea..

So sianz.. Stress is building up.. However, wad pushes me on is my spring vs lion theory:

"A fierce lion is never nice enough to be tamed, a spring wil absorb all stress upon it and return all to the suppressor in a single shot."

So wil my fite against the society's norm b successful? I duno.. U read den gimme a judgement ba..


Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 10:40 pm



Monday, February 20, 2006

'Spring vs Fierce Lion'

Dos hu tink u use words or actions 2 put me down or wadsoeva, I cld jz tel u u wld fail mst likely fail.. Cz I tel u wad, da more u 4ce a lion, da mor fierce da lion wil get.. Den once da whole thing of this fiery induction goes out of hand, u gt bitten..

In my case, a gd 1 wil b a spring.. Da more u push or 4ce down da spring, da hgiher it wil jump.. It's by Newton's 3rd Law, for every action, there's an equal and oppositie reaction 4ce.. So I wil jz jump bac again.. I wil even jump higher den da 4ce u supplied 2 me.. So dos hu considered 2 push me down wif ur acidic words, or wadsoeva, jz tak note of it..

Jz a caution:
A fierce lion is nv nice enuf 2 b tamed, a spring wil absorb all and return all in a single shot..


Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 8:59 pm



Friday, February 17, 2006

'//Ah beng's Diary\\'

Sianz.. 2day I'm jz so pissed off.. Where gt a day where an ah beng isn't pissed? I jz wan 2 wander is it I've changed or da ppl ard me changed til I dislik dem at first glance? Haiz.. Dis world now is defined as a container of hatred, n wanting me 2 swallow it up w/o me disposin dem.. Haiz..

Kip seein tt damn face of hers I jz wana whack it.. Cun even stand a single sight of her.. She's jz a perfect definition for my type of hated gals.. A type of gal wich I probably wun go 4.. She wears a ring cz she's in r/s.. Tt's jz sounds so damn absurd 2 me.. She's in a r/s nt married, wear it 4 wad? Somemore I wan 2 say tt she's jz lik a free electron, bt an aggresive 1.. She kick ppl out of their stable configuration (cliques).. Does she realise tt? If she dun, I expected tt, if she does, I wld b strikin lottery soon.. If she's showin da fact tt she can mix wif ppl ard da class, 4gt it.. It jz shows how aggressive u r in kicking ppl out of their own cliques in class durin lessons.. Durin free time, n do work.. 4gt it la.. Tryin 2 act hardworking, u might as well, go 4 drama classes 2 polish up ur skills.. den u com complainin all da r/s prob u haf, I gues all r created by u nt by the other party.. I bet her r/s wun last.. Wil break soon.. Den she might as well cry til her eyes out.. Gues I wldnt go n console her unles I'm in gd mood tt day.. Bt da fact is if I see her, I wldnt b hapy nor gd mood 4 any moment..

I jz wan 2 finish her off den jz off wif it.. Jz hate.. It's jz lik a mountain of shit in front of u or rather it's jz lik a piece of shit kip stickin wif u, yet u cun wash it off it cun be.. Trailing wif u n makin u stink no matter where u go.. I gues I muz thank dis shit 4 doin such things 2 me.. Cz w/o da shit bad things wldn't com 2 me den lettin me 2 noe the downs of da life of a human.. Yea, thx u piece of shit..

Den 2day sth unpleasant happened.. I din do my chinese hmk den tio shelling lik siao.. Haf 2 experience aftermath oso.. Sianz.. Jz din do cz dun fel lik doin it.. Can? U nt hapy den nt happy la.. Show me da attitude 4 wad? Wen u show da attitude, hw wld I dare 2 ask u 2 clear my doubts? yet u stil say duno can com n ask.. Bt by showin tt face, u tink I dare 2 ask meh.. U wan 2 show, show it 2 da ones hu wans it.. Show it 2 me once ok liao.. Y muz u show it twice? One durin lesson, one aft lesson even after I handed up? Damn it.. U wan, u ask dos ppl out n den shel dem ltr la.. Y bother wastin tim 2 shel in classs? Wasdte ur time n oso others' time wad? Jz duno wad type of logic r u holdin on2.. Sianz..

2day, I've been thinking.. Thinking if I shld drop any of my A-level content subjects.. Cz gt 1 wich is of no link or connecttion wif other 3s.. W/o S-paper, the 4 A-level stil serves me well.. Bt shld I drop it? I'm stil considering.. Sianz.. Takin da 4 A-Level subjects is 4 da sole purpose of gettin a S-paper.. Bt now I din get any.. So shld I drop even though it jz serves da same function? I'm damn confused.. Esp aft such an unhappy episode that had happened.. haiz.. Shld I or shld I nt? If I drop it, I wil b facin tt damn face of da gal.. Sianz.. Haiz..

Y muz life b so unfair and contradictory? Tt's y I hope sb can jz tak me away.. Away frm dis world..


Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 10:57 pm



Sunday, February 12, 2006

'Take Me Away, Will You?'

Tml's my Physics test.. Bt I'm damn afrais tt teh hist wil repeat itself again.. I damn no mood 2 do anything now.. The fate of my file is stil unknown.. I lost my file in da toilet ytd aftnon.. It was CVD ytd..

Den now damn sianz.. No mood 2 do this do tt.. Jz fel lik going spelunking or even base jumping frm a high building w/o any safety measures or wadsoeva.. perhaps ending my life is a gd 1 n a best option.. Though ppl wil shoot me duno wad crap of being irresponsible bla bla.. Bt hu's dere 4 me wen I'm real down? My bros can only help 2 a certain extent, my family can oso help.. Bt nb can rrly help me totally.. Keyword lies at "totally".. Ppl say one muz help oneself in order to achieve and unleash the potential within the individual.. Bt hu cares? Now tt da 1 within me is almost dead.. Understand the meaning of "dead"? It means no existence of life, and cld nt b doin things tt wad a normal living thing is doin.. I'm jz damn down..

Problems aft problems.. Yet another prob is my mask is dimishing.. My mask is fading.. I cun re-create 1.. It's hard.. Y nt u create 4 me if u tink it's easy? The components of the mask is emotion extractor, depression, and no more.. If u can get da another emotional extractor 4 me, I wil do da mask again.. Depression is hard 2 get cz I din encounter any r/s prob so far.. N I dun wan any more encounters of dos.. Or rather shld I say I had exhausted it while I was in J1? Nvm of dis, I jz wan u readers 2 noe tt it's hard 2 re-create dis mask.. Nt cz I dun wan 2 create dis mask.. Some more I duno wad da hel is wrong wif me.. Kip falling sick.. Nt gastric attacks, den is fever.. I wonder if Death likes me or nt.. If Death likes me, come n take me! Dun gimme wad fever wad gastric attacks.. Jz com n pick me up fast n quick.. Mak it snappy.. I wld prefer if can take me in sleep..

Ytd, at CVD I did enjoyed myself most of da time, except da last part of clearing up.. I dun mind clearing up.. Bt I dun lik da way tt my class do clearing up.. Da guys jz kip on bursting unsold balloons.. Den gt 1 burst rite at my ears.. Den I jz shoot out da damn finger at him.. Did scared a gal I lik.. Den while clearing up, I ask a gal called Y 2 pick up a litter jz under her chair cz I was having a sudden backache.. Da gal replied "no" straightaway.. Damn u larz! If u dun wan, jz get off.. jz noe hw 2 say, duno hw 2 do.. Jz payin lip service 2 me, u wil gt nasty things frm me.. So wad 2 do? I bo bian haf 2 bear da pain 2 pick up da damn piece of litter.. I wil always rmb wad u did 2 me ok b*****!! Jz watch out! my face look ah-beng, n if u 4-ce me, I bo bian wil do ah beng things on u.. Dun blame me on tt! Cz u requested 4 it, I wil gladly gif it 2 u FOC..

Den aft clearing up, we went packing n I was damn careless.. I left my file in da toilet in a bid 2 rush off 2 test out my GDB.. All my tutorials except lect notes is dere.. Haiz.. Damn sianz.. Jz hope tt my file is ok n nth goes missing.. Haiz.. Now da fate of my file is unknown.. Sianz..

I'm stil wondering.. If ppl ard me say they lik me, den y doesn't Death adore me?


Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 6:27 pm



Friday, February 10, 2006

'Rrly Damn Confused..'

2day is the release of the O-levels results.. Wells, there's gona b sad faces n harpy faces.. Bt nonetheless, life stil has 2 go on.. Hu cares? Bt 4 dos hu din do 2 well, or din achieve wad u aimed, it's ok.. Cz there wil b another road 2 ur goal.. Jz tt u r being compelled 2 tak dis road cz u din attained the social expectations.. I may nt noe hu u r.. Bt dis msg goes out 2 all la..

Ironically, tml is Celebrating Values Day (CVD) in YJ.. It's supposed 2 b a day of fun n enjoyment.. Yet it's sort of a stress on the J2s.. cz we've 2 try our best 2 sell our things, n raise as much fund as possible.. Isn't this day supposed 2 b a day of fun n enjoyment? Sianz.. My class doin manicure, garage sales n balloon sculpture.. Tml i'm gona "lelong" til siao.. Haha.. It's always da same.. I've 2 do garage sales almost every 2 yrs.. Sianz.. I'm gg off 2 chiong liao..

Tml stil gt 2 work.. Sianz.. Work on sat n sun.. Den mon is my phy test.. Argh.. Hw ar? M I gonna fail it again? Sobz.. I DUN WANNA FAIL AGAIN!! So shld I go n work? Bt da boss called me up 2 ask me go down.. Sianz.. Sobz..


Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 9:54 pm



Wednesday, February 08, 2006

'Spit Fires'

Dis wk is jz hell.. I duno wad's gona 2 happen.. Bt I gt sth 2 say.. Bt dese few days I gt sth 2 say bt cun say it out.. it's addressed 2 my "m**"

"Shld u wan a Cold War, so be it.. I dun wish 2 care.. I gt my own problems 2 deal wif.. N it's quite a bit 4 me liaoz.. Shld u try 2 diao me, u can com n try.. Force me anymore, jz 1 more step.. I'm warning u.. Jz 1 more step.. I wil jump.."

"You can say I'm nt ur son.. So be it cz of da phrase "YOUR SON".. Den u declare Cold war.. U wan it, I gif it.. I wldn't care.."

"I gt so many tests n stress 2 handle wif.. I dun wan 2 b bothered wif dis.. Gif u all da anger u wan 4 all I care.. My health gt prob, my work gt prob.. Do u noe tt? Nt a single shit k? So jz shut up, n carry on wif ur Cold War!"


Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 9:38 pm