SaMuRaI

[T]eachings "A fierce lion is never nice enough to be tamed, a spring wil absorb all and return all in a single shot." "The greatest enemy is oneself. The highest order of class of sword and way of handling is being selfless." "To keep forgiving oneself, finding excuses for oneself is the most undesirable sin to yourself." "Blade is just an instrument, the spirit of the blade lies in your skills and principles." "Intense anger and sadness are double-edged swords, however it's up to the individual on how one weild it." [S]amurai Writer : Xiaofeixia Age : Since 1988 Aspire : Aeroengineer/Researcher [T]rAiLs LeFt By.. [W]arriors.. Jake Yi Herrick Shan Sheng Yang Cheng Han Elizabeth Prawn Vonn Jocelyn Slayerz Angelina [S]hrines Tears Anger Coded Google mail Movies Frenster Blogger Quotes Photos Search Dog Chinese Downloads Singtel SMS Chinese English Dictionary Altavista Translation [A]rchives December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 May 2010 [G]oodies Technicalalities, Physics, Science, Designing, Architecture, Computer, Sendimental songs, Stoning, Chionging work, Repairing, Pooling [E]nemies Irresponisble people, Lip service, Assholes, Humanities, Slackers, Dominators, Heartbreaking, Idiots, ASBS+ACBC people [S]crolls "Hope is the worst of evils for it prolongs the torment of man." -Nietzsche "He who has enough why can bear almost any how." -Frederich N. "Life must be lived as play, playing certain games, singing and dancing" -Plato "Some are born great while some has greatness trust upon them" -President Roosevelt "Kind words can be short but their echoes are endless" -Mother Teresa "The fool wonders, the wise asks" -Benjamin Disraeli "Many times we find ourselves lost, but how many times do we actually find ourselves avoiding the obvious solution?" "Everyone's destiny is not revealed to him or her till the very last minute, why not we craft our own destiny?" "Prophecy is just a prediction of what you may have in future, but it is more of a guideline anyway." "You fight, and you say you make sacrifices for others. However, do you really understand the true meaning of sacrifice?" "Unless it is a high chance of success, if not don't even try doing it. You may be suffering for it in the worst way." "The legacy is not how many you have killed, but the legacy lies in how much have you accomplished benefitting others around you." "You may be harmed by others, but do take pity on those who inflict harm on you. It is because they are lonely and ignorant." "You ask for trouble, and when trouble did come to you, or results not to your liking, just accept it. Because you ask for it, it's yours." "Somethings are better to be said than done. However, how many times have we acted on our own accord without considering those around us?" "Things are not the way they seem. You must look beyond and interprete the meaning behind the thing that you see, not by mere appearance" "If you are called to clear up the shit left behind by others, do not curse and swear. Be positive. At least you learn how to clear up mess, while the others do not know" "Masking yourself is a thing to do when you are confused, but not when you are trying to hide something" "What's yours is yours, do not deny its existence." "You persevere, you stayed without other's knowledge and you labour for them. How many actually came and repay you?" "We always have a choice, we're made of the choices we chose and we can always choose to make the right choice" -Spiderman 3 "Life is full of choices. Either you get to choose or you get chosen" "Compliments boosts people, criticsms pushes people off edges. Why not encourage and give compliments?"

Wednesday, August 30, 2006 *'Hate The Way It Is..'* I rrly duno wad 2 say oso.. Bt den since I'm at da comp, I might as wel blog.. Wel, it seems tt dis prelim ppl do die in it.. Den I gues I'm one of da hardest of all.. Gt 2 din mak it.. Den 1 unknown, d other 1 always stay stagnant.. Nv go up or down.. Jz dere.. Haiz.. ~~My maths is perpetually pulled down by stats.. I wana do kinematics!! Wa piangz eh! Stats r damn hard 2 understand n apply lorz..~~ Haiz.. Sianz.. I duno.. Prelims r jz killers.. ~~Esp in dos sch hu tries v hard 2 climb up da ladder.. Dos schs r sick manz..~~ Hw com other sch r so much easier? Wa lao eh.. Fel lik gg 2 bang my head wif a gun lorz.. Jz a short sharp pain, n can slp 4 eternal.. I watched The Last Samurai.. I'm sorta fascinated by the disciplined way of lifestyle.. N da way dey honor their own work n style principles.. Dey say they wld rather die by their sword den to accpet a defeat.. Cz in their eyes defeat is seen as a shame.. Tt canot b beared.. I gues I duno hw 2 apply dis in2 my life.. I rrly lik deir idea of life manz.. Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 10:02 pm Monday, August 28, 2006 *'Humans--as strange as before..'* I duno wad 2 say.. Bt again gt a fish in my subjects.. I rrly wonder y shld I b studyin stats.. It is nw very very evident tt it was my stats tt pul me down a lot.. Haiz.. I rrly duno.. Jz went 2 sb's blog n read.. I gues it's rrly nt da tim tt we dab in r/s.. Bt it's ok if we b-com close, n try ur utmost best in tryin 2 stay clear headed as frens.. Best frens mayb.. No doubt tt we r humans (bt nt me hor, i'm a freak).. Humans r emotional, n tend 2 b led by their intuition, nt by practical judments of tt situation.. I duno.. Cz if it's much 2 based on judgements, u b-com v rigid, everything al based on judgements, n haf no feelings.. Den u might haf b-com bit 2 robotic.. In my dictionary of humans, I cannot find such a thing called cold-heartedness.. Dere is no such thing.. U cld nv gif anybody any cold feling, unles u r at extreme hatred 4 tt person.. wad u experiencing is nt coldness towards da person, bt rather rejection 2wards another person, hopin 2 numb urself.. 2 me, I fel it's nt da right thing 2 do (though I do a lot of times).. Cz u cld jz lose a fren cz of ur 'rejectin' attitude 2wards him or her.. I duno, bt I said, I'm a cynic.. I critisize wadeva I cld c n hear.. I cld nt bear 2 c ppl suferin 4 nth.. As I went acros blogs on my list, dere's another case of r/s.. Bt I gues I mayb tok a little la.. Again, it's da same advice la.. It's nt abt da negligence tt each of the people fel, bt rather it's da insecurity each person felt.. It's a psychological prob, n no mater hw much each tried 2 assure each other, it wld only add on da burden of the individual.. Dis wld slowly evolve in2 tense r/s, n thus ledin 2 breakups.. Wich I normaly wld nv wan 2 c.. Cz it's jz sorta self-inflicted.. Al dese r my own opinions.. U nt hapy readin it, tag it on my box.. Ur comments r welcome.. Bt den if u fel tt u r being mentioned, I gues it's a wrong felin.. Cz al dese r old issues.. So I gues I shan't say much.. Cz me is nt in da position 2 speak of anything.. Haiz.. My maths ar.. Hw ar? Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 5:23 pm *'Alive..'* I'm alif.. Duno shld dis b a gd thing or bad thing.. bt den.. I rrly duno abt it.. Jz fel so damn sian abt everything.. I started 2 wonder y m I in sch, n y m I sloggin so hard 2 achieve sth 4 som institution tt I dun lik.. I jz hat it.. Everything n everybody in da sch.. Nt frens in sch la.. Bt dos 3 big shots in da sch.. Damn dem.. Esp da femal 1.. D 1 hu is damn big shot.. I jz saw da Mr Brown's transcript of I'm A Singaporean.. Den an inspiration strikes me.. I have a nickname but only my other half is cartoonic. And no, I didn't teach the Karate Kid to do one leg kicking. My mother tongues were Hokkien and Chinese till I was six, and Chinese and English from then on. I can speak good English but ~~nabeh~~ I curse more effectively with dialect. I think (sch's name) should be demolished. Those 3 heads should be fired out. They should b attending a course on how to get students support effectively and not for their own cause. I think that we should have a change of faces this year, and the torch should be extinguished, and have a change of the fire torcher holder. It should be black and not blue. Those values are long forgotten, and they should still be remained forgotten. I'm a cynic. So say we all. I duno, bt I wish to thank Mr Brown for this damn gd inspiration.. Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 7:49 am Thursday, August 24, 2006 *'Courteous? Clean And Green?'* I fel tt Singaporeans r rrly nt couteous lorz.. I gues wad da reader digest did was right lorz.. Mayb we r rrly ranked damn below.. Here's da situation.. Ytd I was boardin MRT, wen da train door opens, ppl rushin in.. Den dos ppl inside wana com out oso canot.. Den lots of tsk tsk sound com out.. Den gt 1 even mor jialat.. 1 uncle gt phelgm.. Den he JZ spit it at da door.. Piangz slap forehead.. Wa kao.. Rrly lorz.. Wad u tink? Singapore clean n green? Singapore courteous? Another situation is lik tt.. Ppl inside wana com out.. Den ppl at da door WUN EVEN want 2 budge or shift a bit 2 mak way.. jz stand down dere lik a statue.. Kaoz.. R dey idiots or wad? Den me ytd cz of dis situation went late hm, cz haf 2 went past yck den gt space 4 me 2 com out, n den tak a bus hm.. Cz da Jurong east train is oso crammed.. Den I oso was stranded at Yew Tee while waitin 4 da train tt I can board.. Sianz.. Singaporeans courteous? Suk it.. Another hilarious uproar is da podcast done by Mr Brown, da 1 abt da national Day Rally Speech.. Mee siam mai Hum.. Dotz.. Seriusly, I dun wish 2 comment.. Bt den wad u tink leh? Mee siam rrly gt hum meh? I nv tried b4.. Lolz.. However, I was listenin 2 al da podcasts.. Den I wonder if dere's rrly fredom of speech tt exists.. Cz wen I listen 2 da latest 1 (A Harmless Podcast), it is jz so damn funy lorz.. Bt tink again, it's a bit unright 2 put words in2 a premier la.. Bt again, he's rrly wrong 2 say mee siam dun wan hum..Haiz.. So duno wich side shld I stan.. Lolz.. Den my mum comes in, den see me listenin 2 mr brown's show.. Den say y I so bo liao.. Bt den I say it's beta den I drink or tak drugs 2 4gt my stres rite? Haiz.. Rrly damn sianz.. Bt 4 me, I tink da podcasts r a gd way 4 me 2 4gt my stres temperorily..Lolz.. Rrly dos podcasts r damn relaxin n hilarious.. Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 11:53 am Monday, August 21, 2006 *'Turning 18'* Tim flies damn fast sia.. 2day is my bdae.. it's gona b da worse bgdae I haf so far in my 18yrs.. Somor it's durin da mst impt turning pt lorz.. Turnin 18 leh, it means a higher degree of fredom le leh.. Den so sloppily past it.. Somor it's durin my prelim.. Haiz.. Hat it sia.. Bt den bo bian, dis is lif lorz.. Life's oways unfair 2 me de la.. Jz lik da entry b4.. I jz fel tt it's jz lik tt.. Haha.. Gt nothing 2 say.. Tml's phy paper!! Chiong manz.. Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 11:04 pm Friday, August 18, 2006 *'Suckers! Piss Off!'* I RRLY RRLY CANNOT STAND da way tt da sch is functioning now.. DAmn n shit it manz.. I rrly hate it.. I jz fel tt u guys r jz a bunch of exploiters.. Exploit students 4 da sak 4 ur own.. Wa biang.. U guys damn hell.. Gif duno wad pwr 2 wad dept can pul ppl out of tut or even leson.. I tink u go n ask wich sch does tt? I jz fel it's damn unfair n it is DOWNRITE RIDICULOS!! If u cun tt award dis yr, den jz dun gt it la.. Is it tt if u nv gt tt award, u gt 2 lose ur job? Or u wil b fired out of ur position? I tink wad u lose is students' trust in sch n da honor u hafin nw.. U r jz exploitin da students 4 ur own cause.. U wan gd results, n u wan gd fitnes.. Den u do it at da expense of the academic, den com n complain sayin ur academic is dropin n up or intensify ur prog.. Den if nt's up 2 std, u 'advise' or rather I shld say u force ppl 2 drop.. Dis whole thing is jz GOD DAMN RIDICULOS K? U r jz exploitin da students.. I can jz tel u tt students r enslaved.. Or shld I say worse off den slaves? Slaves r ppl being forced 2 do work, den being oppressed 2 b da termed as inhuman.. Bt den we r worse off den slaves.. We r SUPPOSED 2 PAY 4 OUR TORTURE.. I mean wads mor humane den tt? We pay evry mth 2 gt our torture.. Wad u tink u doin? Plz manz.. Jz stop da torture la! Stupid arse holes! So far da prelim is halfway thru.. Den so far, all damn jialat.. All damn hard.. Or I din prep enuf? I duno, mayb both factors tt dey set paper hard, n me din prep enuf.. So lok damn jialat.. I duno, I wana gt 2 hel, cz dis place is worse of den hel, esp da place I mentioned abof.. Shit it manz.. Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 5:44 pm Saturday, August 12, 2006 *'Individual Style vs Conformity'* Well, jz a few mor days den it's prelims alr.. I wonder hw m I gona survive dis prelim.. Haiz.. Do I rrly haf 2 drop.. A part is sayin drop is beta, d other part is sayin nt 2 drop cz dere's a possibility tt dere is a gd result comin frm it.. Bt again, probablity is jz so smal, I gues dis is wad humans normaly do, hang to even the slightest hope even tho it's negligible.. It's human instict ba.. I tink.. I jz wondered y m I chosen 2 b a human, n mak 2 fel al sorts of things except happines wrt me? lookin at dos animals, dey seem so much carefree den us, jz tt dey live in constant fear of starvation n predators.. So I rrly duno wada hel m I writin abt nw.. Everything seems jz so freak off 2 me.. The previous entry wasnt tt I was pessimistic.. (An isane person wld nv say themselves is insane) Bt it was kinda a tot of mine wen I hapen 2 walk pass by a couple.. N da partner say y cun both change 2 da same behavior n areas of specialisation.. I sort of damn sian wen I heard tt.. Somor, I think bac n reflect on hw society inflict torture on the less academically inclined individuals.. I tink we r rrly moving 2wards a uniform identity instead of keepin our own diversed identities.. I rrly tink tt da society is rrly preaching water, drink wine policy n ways of doin things.. I duno if dis is an unanimous decision by the whole society or is it a false illusion tt I'm harpin at.. I rrly duno, bt I gues I haf da liberty 2 expres my thots so long it does nt hurt anyone.. (i.e. racist remarks, critisms against govt, etc) Bt dis is rrly botherin me.. Cz dis thing sudenly led me bac 2 tinkin a old dated movie "Dead Poet Society".. In da movie, it is said by da main charac (teacher) "everybody muz hav their own style, their own perspective on the things dey do".. Dis movie left a deep impresion on me wich is da walking scene and da last scene where students stand on da tables.. Da walkin scene did strike me da most.. 3 of da students were selected n has 2 start walking.. Den at first, dey din walk in sam pace n line.. Den slowly it turned to al 3 walkin on the same leg, same timing n almost everything is da same.. Den whilst walking, one of the surrounding students clapped, den da rest follow.. Doesnt dis empirically show the each of da individuals r moving towards conformity, n a comon identity in fear of being left out? I duno.. U guys judge 4 urself.. Cz dis is my own perspective of seeing things n interpretin da show.. If u gt other interpretation, jz fel fre 2 tag at da tag box by da side.. I duno.. Bt I jz fel tt it's no longer da sam anymor.. Unlik da Os, where i'm confident of sure pass bt jz duno wherther can mak it 2 a JC or nt.. I'm nw nt even sure if I can pass my As n go 2 uni or nt.. Perhaps cz I'm stil nt confident of my sch ba.. Tt's y.. It's since 2 yrs since I'm at jc.. Bt den again, da felin is nv da same.. Though I met v gd chers, bt tt din boost my confidence.. My academic performance worries me mor.. I've been takin da last positions of almost everything.. haiz.. Tinkin of it.. I'm so sian alr.. I wonder hw much mor do I haf 2 bear up wif such psychological torment.. Rrly cun tak it anymore.. I've been mor n mor bad tempered.. Mor n more easily irritated.. Even da slightest thing pissed me off 2 da extreme.. Rrly I duno wen wil al dis end.. Rrly.. If dere's ever a tech tt can go into da mind of others, I wld rather use tt manz.. I duno y I wld use tt tech.. I rrly duno.. (siao liao) Bac again.. A cursed hell reject cun do much.. Jz another blackhole on the earth 2 sap things n nv return it.. Btw, Mr Brown rox in his jokes manz.. (no meaning) Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 5:21 am Thursday, August 10, 2006 *'Differences Of Individuals vs Uniform Identity'* I jz found out tt each n everyone is made of differences.. Tink tt's y each of us are diveresed in our ways.. Bt sth bothers me is y everybody says dey appreciate the differences yet each n everyne of us strive to b da same? Isn't tt mak life so monotonous.. Each of us r given da ability different from each other, and thus lead me to sayin tt each of us given very different purpose to live, even tho it seems generically same.. Ok, let's look from dis perspective.. Each of us is 2 "deliver" the mission we r suppose 2 carry out whilst we are living.. Jz lik da well known terror head Osama bin Laden. His purpose is maybe (I said mayb) is 2 bring shock, fright n wadeva very negative feelings 2 da world.. N mayb the guy hu trained him is also being "devised" to train a devil to terrorize teh world, makin da wrold 2 sink deep into chaos.. I mean dis is life ma.. Life is nv da sam again, n nv smoth.. So mayb tt's y we say world is full of differences.. Another is each of us r born differently.. We specialize in different areas, bt y is society only focusin on 1, n nt on the different areas of specialisation of the individuals? Lik som hu r damn strong in their academic, they survive.. Bt dos hu r nt specialised in academic, they suffer on various degrees.. N out dos hu r eliminated, very few r able to b successful.. I noe this is based on the principle of Darwinism, bt we can avoid it rite? If we care to look aft dos ppl hu r nt so academically strong, n develop their various areas of specialisation with proper guidance, I firmly believe tt they wil do juz as well as dos hu r acadmically strong.. Dey can also contribute their utmost part in building this society to a greater hights.. Thus, I fel tt world is not appreciating the differences we have, but rather tryin to merge towards a uniform identity.. Isn't dis evident tt we r nt appreciatin da differences? I duno, bt at least dis is wad I see from my perspective.. Fro the readers, I noe dis carry a tone of biasness, n may prove a bit heavy 4 u 2 accept.. bt dis is da way of life.. Jz accept it ba.. N I duno y I gt so much tim 2 com n realise these principles n writin them here.. Juz a pure irony.. An irony.. Anw, bac 2 da usual saying.. I'm jz a cursed hell reject.. Cun do much 4 da world.. My function is jz 2 occupy part of da population, n die off w/o anybody knowin where m I gg 2 or wen I'm gone.. Jz a cured hell reject.. Hu draws on the resources of the world w/o wantin 2 payin back.. Yea.. Life sux.. Jz a question.. Given a choice u wld wan 2 kip ur differences tt differentiated u frm others or u wan a uniform identity shared by the world? Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 8:42 pm Monday, August 07, 2006 *'Cursed Hell Reject'* Well, dis is da first entry of August.. Den it's oso tim 4 me 2 pour out everything.. Manz.. I'm jz so sick n tired of life.. Let's tok abt academic den.. Da sch so damn sick la.. Study so long liaoz.. Den ask me drop.. All dey noe is drop n mak their stats look gd.. Wa.. Over 90% gt distinctions 4 dis n tt.. Bt does tt public noe tt many were casualties.. Haiz.. Nw tt cz I gt 2 fishes in my exam, den I haf 2 drop 1.. Shit it.. Drop my chem somor.. 2 hel wif u la.. Wan me drop chem, over my dead body manz.. My course wans chem, den I wun drop it.. N dun lay thots on my phy n maths k?! Dos r my PRECIOUS.. SHit it manz.. Jz duno sth.. Wada hel r we studyin 4? 4 hu r we study 4? Or rather we r studyin 4 wad purpose? Sch? Parents? Ourselves? I rrly duno.. Tt's bring me 2 da nex pt.. I com from a family of prety high educatuion.. So naturally, dey haf high expectation of me.. Bt al dese r stresin me up.. I noe i can do it.. Bt al dis r damn presin me 4 somtim wich is presin me lik siao.. N I fel i'm almst dying.. I start 2 haf mobid thots alr.. i wonder wad hapens wen I jump from high building, or in2 a sea n nv com up.. Wad wil hapen? Wil I ever go n c it? I duno.. Bt it sounds so coolz.. Anw, I juz fel tt I'm a cursed hell reject.. Sianz.. Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 9:56 pm

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

'Hate The Way It Is..'

I rrly duno wad 2 say oso.. Bt den since I'm at da comp, I might as wel blog.. Wel, it seems tt dis prelim ppl do die in it.. Den I gues I'm one of da hardest of all.. Gt 2 din mak it.. Den 1 unknown, d other 1 always stay stagnant.. Nv go up or down.. Jz dere.. Haiz.. ~~My maths is perpetually pulled down by stats.. I wana do kinematics!! Wa piangz eh! Stats r damn hard 2 understand n apply lorz..~~ Haiz.. Sianz..

I duno.. Prelims r jz killers.. ~~Esp in dos sch hu tries v hard 2 climb up da ladder.. Dos schs r sick manz..~~ Hw com other sch r so much easier? Wa lao eh.. Fel lik gg 2 bang my head wif a gun lorz.. Jz a short sharp pain, n can slp 4 eternal..

I watched The Last Samurai.. I'm sorta fascinated by the disciplined way of lifestyle.. N da way dey honor their own work n style principles.. Dey say they wld rather die by their sword den to accpet a defeat.. Cz in their eyes defeat is seen as a shame.. Tt canot b beared.. I gues I duno hw 2 apply dis in2 my life.. I rrly lik deir idea of life manz..

Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 10:02 pm

Monday, August 28, 2006

'Humans--as strange as before..'

I duno wad 2 say.. Bt again gt a fish in my subjects.. I rrly wonder y shld I b studyin stats.. It is nw very very evident tt it was my stats tt pul me down a lot.. Haiz.. I rrly duno.. Jz went 2 sb's blog n read.. I gues it's rrly nt da tim tt we dab in r/s.. Bt it's ok if we b-com close, n try ur utmost best in tryin 2 stay clear headed as frens.. Best frens mayb.. No doubt tt we r humans (bt nt me hor, i'm a freak).. Humans r emotional, n tend 2 b led by their intuition, nt by practical judments of tt situation.. I duno.. Cz if it's much 2 based on judgements, u b-com v rigid, everything al based on judgements, n haf no feelings.. Den u might haf b-com bit 2 robotic..

In my dictionary of humans, I cannot find such a thing called cold-heartedness.. Dere is no such thing.. U cld nv gif anybody any cold feling, unles u r at extreme hatred 4 tt person.. wad u experiencing is nt coldness towards da person, bt rather rejection 2wards another person, hopin 2 numb urself.. 2 me, I fel it's nt da right thing 2 do (though I do a lot of times).. Cz u cld jz lose a fren cz of ur 'rejectin' attitude 2wards him or her.. I duno, bt I said, I'm a cynic.. I critisize wadeva I cld c n hear.. I cld nt bear 2 c ppl suferin 4 nth..

As I went acros blogs on my list, dere's another case of r/s.. Bt I gues I mayb tok a little la.. Again, it's da same advice la.. It's nt abt da negligence tt each of the people fel, bt rather it's da insecurity each person felt.. It's a psychological prob, n no mater hw much each tried 2 assure each other, it wld only add on da burden of the individual.. Dis wld slowly evolve in2 tense r/s, n thus ledin 2 breakups.. Wich I normaly wld nv wan 2 c.. Cz it's jz sorta self-inflicted..

Al dese r my own opinions.. U nt hapy readin it, tag it on my box.. Ur comments r welcome.. Bt den if u fel tt u r being mentioned, I gues it's a wrong felin.. Cz al dese r old issues.. So I gues I shan't say much.. Cz me is nt in da position 2 speak of anything.. Haiz.. My maths ar.. Hw ar?

Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 5:23 pm

'Alive..'

I'm alif.. Duno shld dis b a gd thing or bad thing.. bt den.. I rrly duno abt it.. Jz fel so damn sian abt everything.. I started 2 wonder y m I in sch, n y m I sloggin so hard 2 achieve sth 4 som institution tt I dun lik.. I jz hat it.. Everything n everybody in da sch.. Nt frens in sch la.. Bt dos 3 big shots in da sch.. Damn dem.. Esp da femal 1.. D 1 hu is damn big shot.. I jz saw da Mr Brown's transcript of I'm A Singaporean.. Den an inspiration strikes me..

I have a nickname but only my other half is cartoonic. And no, I didn't teach the Karate Kid to do one leg kicking. My mother tongues were Hokkien and Chinese till I was six, and Chinese and English from then on. I can speak good English but ~~nabeh~~ I curse more effectively with dialect. I think (sch's name) should be demolished. Those 3 heads should be fired out. They should b attending a course on how to get students support effectively and not for their own cause. I think that we should have a change of faces this year, and the torch should be extinguished, and have a change of the fire torcher holder. It should be black and not blue. Those values are long forgotten, and they should still be remained forgotten. I'm a cynic. So say we all.

I duno, bt I wish to thank Mr Brown for this damn gd inspiration..

Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 7:49 am

Thursday, August 24, 2006

'Courteous? Clean And Green?'

I fel tt Singaporeans r rrly nt couteous lorz.. I gues wad da reader digest did was right lorz.. Mayb we r rrly ranked damn below.. Here's da situation.. Ytd I was boardin MRT, wen da train door opens, ppl rushin in.. Den dos ppl inside wana com out oso canot.. Den lots of tsk tsk sound com out.. Den gt 1 even mor jialat.. 1 uncle gt phelgm.. Den he JZ spit it at da door.. Piangz *slap forehead*.. Wa kao.. Rrly lorz.. Wad u tink? Singapore clean n green? Singapore courteous?

Another situation is lik tt.. Ppl inside wana com out.. Den ppl at da door WUN EVEN want 2 budge or shift a bit 2 mak way.. jz stand down dere lik a statue.. Kaoz.. R dey idiots or wad? Den me ytd cz of dis situation went late hm, cz haf 2 went past yck den gt space 4 me 2 com out, n den tak a bus hm.. Cz da Jurong east train is oso crammed.. Den I oso was stranded at Yew Tee while waitin 4 da train tt I can board.. Sianz.. Singaporeans courteous? Suk it..

Another hilarious uproar is da podcast done by Mr Brown, da 1 abt da national Day Rally Speech.. Mee siam mai Hum.. Dotz.. Seriusly, I dun wish 2 comment.. Bt den wad u tink leh? Mee siam rrly gt hum meh? I nv tried b4.. Lolz..

However, I was listenin 2 al da podcasts.. Den I wonder if dere's rrly fredom of speech tt exists.. Cz wen I listen 2 da latest 1 (A Harmless Podcast), it is jz so damn funy lorz.. Bt tink again, it's a bit unright 2 put words in2 a premier la.. Bt again, he's rrly wrong 2 say mee siam dun wan hum..Haiz.. So duno wich side shld I stan.. Lolz..

Den my mum comes in, den see me listenin 2 mr brown's show.. Den say y I so bo liao.. Bt den I say it's beta den I drink or tak drugs 2 4gt my stres rite? Haiz.. Rrly damn sianz.. Bt 4 me, I tink da podcasts r a gd way 4 me 2 4gt my stres temperorily..Lolz.. Rrly dos podcasts r damn relaxin n hilarious..

Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 11:53 am

Monday, August 21, 2006

'Turning 18'

Tim flies damn fast sia.. 2day is my bdae.. it's gona b da worse bgdae I haf so far in my 18yrs.. Somor it's durin da mst impt turning pt lorz.. Turnin 18 leh, it means a higher degree of fredom le leh.. Den so sloppily past it.. Somor it's durin my prelim.. Haiz.. Hat it sia.. Bt den bo bian, dis is lif lorz.. Life's oways unfair 2 me de la.. Jz lik da entry b4.. I jz fel tt it's jz lik tt.. Haha.. Gt nothing 2 say.. Tml's phy paper!! Chiong manz..

Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 11:04 pm

Friday, August 18, 2006

'Suckers! Piss Off!'

I RRLY RRLY CANNOT STAND da way tt da sch is functioning now.. DAmn n shit it manz.. I rrly hate it.. I jz fel tt u guys r jz a bunch of exploiters.. Exploit students 4 da sak 4 ur own.. Wa biang.. U guys damn hell.. Gif duno wad pwr 2 wad dept can pul ppl out of tut or even leson.. I tink u go n ask wich sch does tt? I jz fel it's damn unfair n it is DOWNRITE RIDICULOS!! If u cun tt award dis yr, den jz dun gt it la.. Is it tt if u nv gt tt award, u gt 2 lose ur job? Or u wil b fired out of ur position? I tink wad u lose is students' trust in sch n da honor u hafin nw..

U r jz exploitin da students 4 ur own cause.. U wan gd results, n u wan gd fitnes.. Den u do it at da expense of the academic, den com n complain sayin ur academic is dropin n up or intensify ur prog.. Den if nt's up 2 std, u 'advise' or rather I shld say u force ppl 2 drop.. Dis whole thing is jz GOD DAMN RIDICULOS K? U r jz exploitin da students.. I can jz tel u tt students r enslaved.. Or shld I say worse off den slaves?

Slaves r ppl being forced 2 do work, den being oppressed 2 b da termed as inhuman.. Bt den we r worse off den slaves.. We r SUPPOSED 2 PAY 4 OUR TORTURE.. I mean wads mor humane den tt? We pay evry mth 2 gt our torture.. Wad u tink u doin? Plz manz.. Jz stop da torture la! Stupid arse holes!

So far da prelim is halfway thru.. Den so far, all damn jialat.. All damn hard.. Or I din prep enuf? I duno, mayb both factors tt dey set paper hard, n me din prep enuf.. So lok damn jialat.. I duno, I wana gt 2 hel, cz dis place is worse of den hel, esp da place I mentioned abof.. Shit it manz..

Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 5:44 pm

Saturday, August 12, 2006

'Individual Style vs Conformity'

Well, jz a few mor days den it's prelims alr.. I wonder hw m I gona survive dis prelim.. Haiz.. Do I rrly haf 2 drop.. A part is sayin drop is beta, d other part is sayin nt 2 drop cz dere's a possibility tt dere is a gd result comin frm it.. Bt again, probablity is jz so smal, I gues dis is wad humans normaly do, hang to even the slightest hope even tho it's negligible.. It's human instict ba.. I tink.. I jz wondered y m I chosen 2 b a human, n mak 2 fel al sorts of things except happines wrt me? lookin at dos animals, dey seem so much carefree den us, jz tt dey live in constant fear of starvation n predators.. So I rrly duno wada hel m I writin abt nw.. Everything seems jz so freak off 2 me..

The previous entry wasnt tt I was pessimistic.. (An isane person wld nv say themselves is insane) Bt it was kinda a tot of mine wen I hapen 2 walk pass by a couple.. N da partner say y cun both change 2 da same behavior n areas of specialisation.. I sort of damn sian wen I heard tt.. Somor, I think bac n reflect on hw society inflict torture on the less academically inclined individuals.. I tink we r rrly moving 2wards a uniform identity instead of keepin our own diversed identities.. I rrly tink tt da society is rrly preaching water, drink wine policy n ways of doin things.. I duno if dis is an unanimous decision by the whole society or is it a false illusion tt I'm harpin at.. I rrly duno, bt I gues I haf da liberty 2 expres my thots so long it does nt hurt anyone.. (i.e. racist remarks, critisms against govt, etc) Bt dis is rrly botherin me.. Cz dis thing sudenly led me bac 2 tinkin a old dated movie "Dead Poet Society"..

In da movie, it is said by da main charac (teacher) "everybody muz hav their own style, their own perspective on the things dey do".. Dis movie left a deep impresion on me wich is da walking scene and da last scene where students stand on da tables.. Da walkin scene did strike me da most.. 3 of da students were selected n has 2 start walking.. Den at first, dey din walk in sam pace n line.. Den slowly it turned to al 3 walkin on the same leg, same timing n almost everything is da same.. Den whilst walking, one of the surrounding students clapped, den da rest follow.. Doesnt dis empirically show the each of da individuals r moving towards conformity, n a comon identity in fear of being left out? I duno.. U guys judge 4 urself.. Cz dis is my own perspective of seeing things n interpretin da show.. If u gt other interpretation, jz fel fre 2 tag at da tag box by da side..

I duno.. Bt I jz fel tt it's no longer da sam anymor.. Unlik da Os, where i'm confident of sure pass bt jz duno wherther can mak it 2 a JC or nt.. I'm nw nt even sure if I can pass my As n go 2 uni or nt.. Perhaps cz I'm stil nt confident of my sch ba.. Tt's y.. It's since 2 yrs since I'm at jc.. Bt den again, da felin is nv da same.. Though I met v gd chers, bt tt din boost my confidence.. My academic performance worries me mor.. I've been takin da last positions of almost everything.. haiz.. Tinkin of it.. I'm so sian alr.. I wonder hw much mor do I haf 2 bear up wif such psychological torment.. Rrly cun tak it anymore..

I've been mor n mor bad tempered.. Mor n more easily irritated.. Even da slightest thing pissed me off 2 da extreme.. Rrly I duno wen wil al dis end.. Rrly.. If dere's ever a tech tt can go into da mind of others, I wld rather use tt manz.. I duno y I wld use tt tech.. I rrly duno.. (siao liao)

Bac again.. A cursed hell reject cun do much.. Jz another blackhole on the earth 2 sap things n nv return it.. Btw, Mr Brown rox in his jokes manz.. (no meaning)

Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 5:21 am

Thursday, August 10, 2006

'Differences Of Individuals vs Uniform Identity'

I jz found out tt each n everyone is made of differences.. Tink tt's y each of us are diveresed in our ways.. Bt sth bothers me is y everybody says dey appreciate the differences yet each n everyne of us strive to b da same? Isn't tt mak life so monotonous.. Each of us r given da ability different from each other, and thus lead me to sayin tt each of us given very different purpose to live, even tho it seems generically same..

Ok, let's look from dis perspective.. Each of us is 2 "deliver" the mission we r suppose 2 carry out whilst we are living.. Jz lik da well known terror head Osama bin Laden. His purpose is maybe (I said mayb) is 2 bring shock, fright n wadeva very negative feelings 2 da world.. N mayb the guy hu trained him is also being "devised" to train a devil to terrorize teh world, makin da wrold 2 sink deep into chaos.. I mean dis is life ma.. Life is nv da sam again, n nv smoth.. So mayb tt's y we say world is full of differences..

Another is each of us r born differently.. We specialize in different areas, bt y is society only focusin on 1, n nt on the different areas of specialisation of the individuals? Lik som hu r damn strong in their academic, they survive.. Bt dos hu r nt specialised in academic, they suffer on various degrees.. N out dos hu r eliminated, very few r able to b successful.. I noe this is based on the principle of Darwinism, bt we can avoid it rite? If we care to look aft dos ppl hu r nt so academically strong, n develop their various areas of specialisation with proper guidance, I firmly believe tt they wil do juz as well as dos hu r acadmically strong.. Dey can also contribute their utmost part in building this society to a greater hights.. Thus, I fel tt world is not appreciating the differences we have, but rather tryin to merge towards a uniform identity.. Isn't dis evident tt we r nt appreciatin da differences? I duno, bt at least dis is wad I see from my perspective..

Fro the readers, I noe dis carry a tone of biasness, n may prove a bit heavy 4 u 2 accept.. bt dis is da way of life.. Jz accept it ba.. N I duno y I gt so much tim 2 com n realise these principles n writin them here..

Juz a pure irony.. An irony..

Anw, bac 2 da usual saying.. I'm jz a cursed hell reject.. Cun do much 4 da world.. My function is jz 2 occupy part of da population, n die off w/o anybody knowin where m I gg 2 or wen I'm gone.. Jz a cured hell reject.. Hu draws on the resources of the world w/o wantin 2 payin back..

Yea.. Life sux.. Jz a question.. Given a choice u wld wan 2 kip ur differences tt differentiated u frm others or u wan a uniform identity shared by the world?

Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 8:42 pm

Monday, August 07, 2006

'Cursed Hell Reject'

Well, dis is da first entry of August.. Den it's oso tim 4 me 2 pour out everything.. Manz.. I'm jz so sick n tired of life.. Let's tok abt academic den..

Da sch so damn sick la.. Study so long liaoz.. Den ask me drop.. All dey noe is drop n mak their stats look gd.. Wa.. Over 90% gt distinctions 4 dis n tt.. Bt does tt public noe tt many were casualties.. Haiz.. Nw tt cz I gt 2 fishes in my exam, den I haf 2 drop 1.. Shit it.. Drop my chem somor.. 2 hel wif u la.. Wan me drop chem, over my dead body manz.. My course wans chem, den I wun drop it.. N dun lay thots on my phy n maths k?! Dos r my PRECIOUS.. SHit it manz.. Jz duno sth.. Wada hel r we studyin 4? 4 hu r we study 4? Or rather we r studyin 4 wad purpose? Sch? Parents? Ourselves? I rrly duno.. Tt's bring me 2 da nex pt..

I com from a family of prety high educatuion.. So naturally, dey haf high expectation of me.. Bt al dese r stresin me up.. I noe i can do it.. Bt al dis r damn presin me 4 somtim wich is presin me lik siao.. N I fel i'm almst dying.. I start 2 haf mobid thots alr.. i wonder wad hapens wen I jump from high building, or in2 a sea n nv com up.. Wad wil hapen? Wil I ever go n c it? I duno.. Bt it sounds so coolz..

Anw, I juz fel tt I'm a cursed hell reject..

Sianz..

Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 9:56 pm