SaMuRaI

[T]eachings "A fierce lion is never nice enough to be tamed, a spring wil absorb all and return all in a single shot." "The greatest enemy is oneself. The highest order of class of sword and way of handling is being selfless." "To keep forgiving oneself, finding excuses for oneself is the most undesirable sin to yourself." "Blade is just an instrument, the spirit of the blade lies in your skills and principles." "Intense anger and sadness are double-edged swords, however it's up to the individual on how one weild it." [S]amurai Writer : Xiaofeixia Age : Since 1988 Aspire : Aeroengineer/Researcher [T]rAiLs LeFt By.. [W]arriors.. Jake Yi Herrick Shan Sheng Yang Cheng Han Elizabeth Prawn Vonn Jocelyn Slayerz Angelina [S]hrines Tears Anger Coded Google mail Movies Frenster Blogger Quotes Photos Search Dog Chinese Downloads Singtel SMS Chinese English Dictionary Altavista Translation [A]rchives December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 May 2010 [G]oodies Technicalalities, Physics, Science, Designing, Architecture, Computer, Sendimental songs, Stoning, Chionging work, Repairing, Pooling [E]nemies Irresponisble people, Lip service, Assholes, Humanities, Slackers, Dominators, Heartbreaking, Idiots, ASBS+ACBC people [S]crolls "Hope is the worst of evils for it prolongs the torment of man." -Nietzsche "He who has enough why can bear almost any how." -Frederich N. "Life must be lived as play, playing certain games, singing and dancing" -Plato "Some are born great while some has greatness trust upon them" -President Roosevelt "Kind words can be short but their echoes are endless" -Mother Teresa "The fool wonders, the wise asks" -Benjamin Disraeli "Many times we find ourselves lost, but how many times do we actually find ourselves avoiding the obvious solution?" "Everyone's destiny is not revealed to him or her till the very last minute, why not we craft our own destiny?" "Prophecy is just a prediction of what you may have in future, but it is more of a guideline anyway." "You fight, and you say you make sacrifices for others. However, do you really understand the true meaning of sacrifice?" "Unless it is a high chance of success, if not don't even try doing it. You may be suffering for it in the worst way." "The legacy is not how many you have killed, but the legacy lies in how much have you accomplished benefitting others around you." "You may be harmed by others, but do take pity on those who inflict harm on you. It is because they are lonely and ignorant." "You ask for trouble, and when trouble did come to you, or results not to your liking, just accept it. Because you ask for it, it's yours." "Somethings are better to be said than done. However, how many times have we acted on our own accord without considering those around us?" "Things are not the way they seem. You must look beyond and interprete the meaning behind the thing that you see, not by mere appearance" "If you are called to clear up the shit left behind by others, do not curse and swear. Be positive. At least you learn how to clear up mess, while the others do not know" "Masking yourself is a thing to do when you are confused, but not when you are trying to hide something" "What's yours is yours, do not deny its existence." "You persevere, you stayed without other's knowledge and you labour for them. How many actually came and repay you?" "We always have a choice, we're made of the choices we chose and we can always choose to make the right choice" -Spiderman 3 "Life is full of choices. Either you get to choose or you get chosen" "Compliments boosts people, criticsms pushes people off edges. Why not encourage and give compliments?"

Sunday, March 25, 2007 *'A Random Entry..'* Well, I sort fel quite sian abt dese few days.. I oso duno y.. Bt I jz dun haf mood 2 do almost anything.. I jz fel lik slacking off, n do da things I like.. I rrly do wish 2 go 2 some where, where da place do alow me 2 b my own self.. Unrestricted by anything or anybody.. In fact jz dun wan 2 b disturbed.. Dere r a few things wich I oso wish 2 noe n wantin 2 find out since ad last 2 years.. Yet I nv suceed in finding.. I can jz fel so sian out of a suden even if I'm out wif sb whom I'm close 2.. I duno.. Even if I'm wif my clique, I wil jz fel so sian out of a suden, den my face show it.. It's damn rude 2 do so I know, bt I tried my best in avoidin it.. Nw tt everything is lik da simulation of da working life in da society jz tt it's backed up wif lots of military rules n regulations.. Afteral, it's jz lik ur parents kipin a watchful eye on you while you work.. Sorta feluin nt v gd.. Thou I noe parents care, however da feling of this watchin over is nt gd.. Lest dis is wad I fel, cz I dun tink dese parents wil lok after your future? I gues dey jz wan da job 2 b wel done n nt 2 screw t up.. I mean hu wld wish 2 haf da job screwed up? However 2 me, I fel dey dun care abt ur future, as in dey wld jz tak da displinary actions str @ u if u screw it up.. Hwever, yet dey tak tim 2 make sure u r ok in character as wel as disciplined.. Well, I'm rrly confused n sian abt it.. I read couple blog entries.. I oso duno wad 2 say oso.. Cz som r rrly hilarious, while som r abt political struggle.. I jz dun understand y muz dere b so many political strugles? Is politics so impt in da workplace? Is ever power so impt? [I tot money mor impt?] Political struggle.. It's jz a f-ed up thing tt wil ever hapen, n da last thing I ever wan 2 b engaged in.. It's v sian 1.. Imagine u go work, n engaged in politics simultaneously.. U nt tired frm da sheer load of work meh? Adding somor wt 2 urself.. Den I personaly hate politics.. I tink it's a sheer waste of time n effort.. It may cause mental breakdown.. I jz hate it.. Hw wld u fel 2 b fiting 2 things, n hw wld u fel wen acty da person besides u backstabs u? Is dis hw politics works? Or is dis wad dey say adversities breeds frenship or know true frens? I tink all dese r hypocritical bullshit.. I oso duno wada hel m I writin thus far.. If u dun understand any of dis, it's perfectly alright.. Nt cz u cun gt da logic in it, bt cz dere's no logic in it.. It's jz pure random.. Hw can u gt sth wen's dere's nth in it? Corect? Shld u ask me out of sth random, I wld try my best 2 reply 2 u in da mst relevant ans.. However, wen it comes 2 writing, mayb u cld ofer som advice in hw m I supose 2 write logic within any random essays I'm gg 2 writ in near future.. Surely I believe dere's gota b som way.. Ytd, I heard sth quite sad oso.. I jz dun understand y som parents can care quite wel.. While som parents do understand their children, while som nv seems 2 care much abt their own children.. Som sorta jz dun care at all, or som did it in som candid way.. Insult their children or bother their children til dey fel so frustrated.. I jz dun understand wad is their definition of home.. Wad's a home? A damn gd qn 2 ask.. A f-ing hard ans 2 gif.. I seriously duno wad's deir definition of home.. I gues mayb wad dey thinking is a home is equivalent 2 a house.. A place 2 eat, stay, slp.. U tink corect? 4 me, I gues home is where children gt love, solace, values, n nt jz a place 2 stay, eat, slp.. Mayb I gues dere ought 2 b som course 4 children 2 enrol their parents 2, so tt dos type of parents hu duno hw 2 tak care of their child 2 go n learn hw 2 tak care of da children, n oso 2 gt da corect definition of home.. Cz I'm sure deir own definition of home is confirm quite distorted 1.. Dis is jz a random entry.. So jz read it, n dun ever tink abt t.. Cz it may cause da masacre of ur brain cells.. I'm serious.. [or m I nt?] Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 10:50 am Thursday, March 22, 2007 *'End Of BMT + Posting'* Well, BMT has finally ended, n it marks da new chap of my Army NS life.. Haha.. Well, ytd was a rrly gr8 day 4 me.. I was promoted frm Recruit to Private.. However da pay is stil da sam.. So how? Bo bian, jz bear wif it lorz.. Throughout dis course of BMT in Tekong, it has truly make me appreciatif of da things I haf on dis mainland Singapore.. Lolz.. Inded in dere, lots of things were inconvinient.. In fact, a lot is gained thru out da course.. Bt da end when u throw da jockey cap up in2 da air, n being anounced as da private.. It is sort of hard earned 4 1 hu has gone thru prety much trials, scoldings, n others w/o even knowing wads NS abt.. I gues dey rrly nid recognition 4 gg thru much.. Dey rrly deserve admiration.. Even dos hu noe, dey do deserve a bit oso.. Haha.. Bt thru out dis BMT, I do haf som blaberin 2 make.. In dis BMT, I was al da way in Sect 1.. It's acty was quite coolz.. Cz gt funny ppl, ppl hu wil jz brighten up ur days wif jz litle jokes or som funy sacarsms 2 ppl.. I stil rmb da day wen we enlist in, we al lok damn str.. Al bounded up, n seems ready 2 defend oneself frm others.. Den wen I ask hw was I lik in da first day frm da first impresion.. Den I gt da reply tt I lok som "Ah Long", damn f-ing fierce.. Dun even dare 2 tok 2 me.. Bt dey say, aft da 2 wks, it was much beta le la.. Dey jz saw a diff me aft da confinement wk.. Den dey start 2 com closer, den it was a diff me tt dey know aft da field camp.. As in, da transformation did tak place slowly of cz.. Haha.. Den wen it comes 2 parting, we were sort of rrly nt bear 2 part.. Well, dere's no place where no seperation takes place ba.. So durin da POP, we sort of congrat each other on da achievement tt we achieved.. So tt's al I cld say abt dis BMT.. As 4 da folow up, n detailed ones, read da entries b4 dis 1.. Lolz.. Lazy 2 type it anw.. Den I gt posted to Armour Engineer Technician.. Black beret.. Coolz.. Trng xiong.. Tio liao.. Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 11:18 pm Saturday, March 10, 2007 *'Finale Of BMT'* As time flies (i noe it's cliche), I found myself whizing thru da BMT.. Den wen I'm out of tekong, I wld b caled a soldier.. Bt den wad kind of soldier? I duno.. Mayb a sucky 1.. Or other things, bt surely it muz b of sth negative, cz I noe I can nv b a gd soldier.. Well, lest was wad I cld c so far.. If I were a gd soldier, my dream wld haf com true.. Bt in reality, it didn't com at all.. So tt's it.. A bad soldier.. I jz somtimes cldnt figure out y ppl haf 2 b so of their ownselves.. I jz fel so fucked-up.. Esp wen I hear sth wich wil literaly break my heart, or even beta, tak da life out of me.. Wel, I mean afteral, it's expected.. Cz I din mit da requirement, cz I chose da easy road instead of the rite road.. So mayb dis wad I shld gt ba.. So anw, bac 2 da topic.. I duno if is it my bias judgement or wad.. Bt I jz sort of nt hapy tt he's da best n he can go 2 my dream place.. Den he claims he's nt stuck up or wadsoeva, everything he does seems 2 b under stress.. It's lik wtf.. Even if u noe u sure gg tt place, haf an interview wif da big shot, u nid nt haf 2 b so stuck up rit? Haiz.. I duno.. Den act pitiful, as in u r in som sufering.. I gaf respect nt cz u r da best, bt cz u r older den me, sorts wiser den any1 of us.. Tt's y I hold bac my temper ba.. Bt haiz.. Again, wad cn I do, jz sit bac n see wad others tak wad dey deserve lorz.. Bo bain.. I noe it isn't rite 4 Samurai 2 admit his defeat 4 he wil b dishonored lik fuck.. Bt den wad's fact is act, cldnt possibly change it.. So jz tak it lorz.. Well, went 4 NTU open hse.. It was ok la.. Lest I ask abt my course.. Den it was said by da profesor tt my results stand high chance 2 go in.. Bt I fel it's jz sort of a consolation statement frm him ba.. I duno.. Bt I sort of hate ppl hu raises hope, den wen reality shaters it, u fel damn fucked up.. Haiz.. Let's hope he's nt raising hope, n he rrly meant he meant.. As in he say I cld go in, den hope wadeva he say is true lorz.. Dis wk has nth special except da finale wich is da 24km route march.. It is rrly an achievement wen 1 finish tt 24km.. Cz it's rrly a lot on da endurance n menta strength.. Nt so much on physical.. I sorta was quite demoralised.. Cz I recif a bad news frm sb JUST b4 my route march.. Well, I dun blame tt person.. Cz tt person din rrly noe I was doin an impt event.. However, I do wan 2 thank my section mates march beside me n constantly eggin me on.. Though in my mind, I was tinkin y m I so suai 2 tio tt kind of msg frm tt person.. Bt haiz.. wad's over is over lorz.. After finish da 24km, it was sort of quite gidy 4 me.. I do admit it was partly my fault cz I cldnt eat my diner out field.. Mayb was 2 shag 2 do anything ba.. Haha.. Den ppl ard me, at tt pt of tim I fel dey force me 2 eat.. Wich mak me fel quite frustrated.. Denin da end, I gues I jz ate 2 bananas, n I survived da rest of da 12km march home.. Haha.. Den we reach da parade sq, it's so refreshing.. Though we r so damn fuckin shag, bt we fel quite gd.. If u ask me y, I wld say go n try it urself, n u wil noe wad it means le.. Haha.. Throughout this BMT, I did learn a lot.. Haha.. jz hope my unit life wld b 2 tough.. Jz a slacker wanabe.. Haha.. Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 10:34 pm Saturday, March 03, 2007 *'Reflection..'* Well, wadeva is done is done.. I mean well, reviewing da entries of da days in A levels, I cldnt help bt agreein 2 wad I've wrote.. It is quoted "Jz lik wad Lord Elron said 2 Aragon at da eve 2 battle "You are to war, but not to victory", so it defines da fact that victory is never certain until da results r out.. Well, same go 4 exams.. We fite in da course of battle.. Bt den we wil only noe if we win or lose durin da release of results.." Well, true enough, it defines well da fact tt I sux in studyin n exam.. I duno bt da results somhow is nt as shuang2 as I was in Sec 4.. Haiz.. Well, wadeva it is, da breakdown r as folows.. I dun intend 2 anounce da results.. Bt generic overal is no distinctions n no ful cert.. Some of da results wer nt up 2 expectations.. Den som came as a surprise.. I rrly do not noe.. In fact some of my teachers wer quite shocked abt my results.. Esp my maths teachers.. My other teachers wer sort of expecting som flactuations.. Da flactuations wasn't quite big so dey din rrly gt a shock or wadsoeva.. Bt maths gt a rrly rrly big shock.. Den wen I gt da results, I gt shelin frm my tutor in maths n physics.. Cz it was rrly under performance as according 2 him.. So mayb it rrly was my under performance.. I duno.. Ytd, seeing others gt results.. Som cried.. Som flow da tears of joy, while som is sadness n despair.. I rrly duno wad 2 say oso.. I wanted 2 cry, bt sorta as a soldier I hardly cried.. I sort of gt da blackest face during ytd acordin 2 my frens.. Som went 4 celebration, while som went hm 2 sort out their emotions.. Well, life has 2 cary on, dis fact can never b denied.. However, al we cld do is 2 c hw on da remaining days of our lives cld we remedy dis situation.. Cldnt rrly say anything much oso.. Cz mayb my results r nt gd enuf 2 critisize, bt som r rrly damn fucked up.. Anw, jz heck care ba.. I duno, bt I fel mayb after in da Army, our mentality wld change.. So bo bian, haf 2 chiong ahead, n nv lok back ba.. It jz sux totally 2 haf such fucked up results.. Haiz.. N anw, I stil failed my IPPT, (as usual) da dream is DASHED.. Mayb I'm nt meant 2.. Or mayb I'm spiritually tired of fighting alr.. Haiz.. Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 11:39 am

Sunday, March 25, 2007

'A Random Entry..'

Well, I sort fel quite sian abt dese few days.. I oso duno y.. Bt I jz dun haf mood 2 do almost anything.. I jz fel lik slacking off, n do da things I like.. I rrly do wish 2 go 2 some where, where da place do alow me 2 b my own self.. Unrestricted by anything or anybody.. In fact jz dun wan 2 b disturbed..

Dere r a few things wich I oso wish 2 noe n wantin 2 find out since ad last 2 years.. Yet I nv suceed in finding.. I can jz fel so sian out of a suden even if I'm out wif sb whom I'm close 2.. I duno.. Even if I'm wif my clique, I wil jz fel so sian out of a suden, den my face show it.. It's damn rude 2 do so I know, bt I tried my best in avoidin it..

Nw tt everything is lik da simulation of da working life in da society jz tt it's backed up wif lots of military rules n regulations.. Afteral, it's jz lik ur parents kipin a watchful eye on you while you work.. Sorta feluin nt v gd.. Thou I noe parents care, however da feling of this watchin over is nt gd.. Lest dis is wad I fel, cz I dun tink dese parents wil lok after your future? I gues dey jz wan da job 2 b wel done n nt 2 screw t up.. I mean hu wld wish 2 haf da job screwed up? However 2 me, I fel dey dun care abt ur future, as in dey wld jz tak da displinary actions str @ u if u screw it up.. Hwever, yet dey tak tim 2 make sure u r ok in character as wel as disciplined.. Well, I'm rrly confused n sian abt it..

I read couple blog entries.. I oso duno wad 2 say oso.. Cz som r rrly hilarious, while som r abt political struggle.. I jz dun understand y muz dere b so many political strugles? Is politics so impt in da workplace? Is ever power so impt? [I tot money mor impt?]

Political struggle..
It's jz a f-ed up thing tt wil ever hapen, n da last thing I ever wan 2 b engaged in..
It's v sian 1..
Imagine u go work, n engaged in politics simultaneously..
U nt tired frm da sheer load of work meh? Adding somor wt 2 urself..
Den I personaly hate politics.. I tink it's a sheer waste of time n effort..
It may cause mental breakdown..
I jz hate it..
Hw wld u fel 2 b fiting 2 things, n hw wld u fel wen acty da person besides u backstabs u?
Is dis hw politics works?
Or is dis wad dey say adversities breeds frenship or know true frens?
I tink all dese r hypocritical bullshit..

I oso duno wada hel m I writin thus far.. If u dun understand any of dis, it's perfectly alright.. Nt cz u cun gt da logic in it, bt cz dere's no logic in it.. It's jz pure random.. Hw can u gt sth wen's dere's nth in it? Corect? Shld u ask me out of sth random, I wld try my best 2 reply 2 u in da mst relevant ans.. However, wen it comes 2 writing, mayb u cld ofer som advice in hw m I supose 2 write logic within any random essays I'm gg 2 writ in near future.. Surely I believe dere's gota b som way..

Ytd, I heard sth quite sad oso.. I jz dun understand y som parents can care quite wel.. While som parents do understand their children, while som nv seems 2 care much abt their own children.. Som sorta jz dun care at all, or som did it in som candid way.. Insult their children or bother their children til dey fel so frustrated.. I jz dun understand wad is their definition of home..

Wad's a home?
A damn gd qn 2 ask..
A f-ing hard ans 2 gif..

I seriously duno wad's deir definition of home.. I gues mayb wad dey thinking is a home is equivalent 2 a house.. A place 2 eat, stay, slp.. U tink corect? 4 me, I gues home is where children gt love, solace, values, n nt jz a place 2 stay, eat, slp.. Mayb I gues dere ought 2 b som course 4 children 2 enrol their parents 2, so tt dos type of parents hu duno hw 2 tak care of their child 2 go n learn hw 2 tak care of da children, n oso 2 gt da corect definition of home.. Cz I'm sure deir own definition of home is confirm quite distorted 1..

Dis is jz a random entry.. So jz read it, n dun ever tink abt t.. Cz it may cause da masacre of ur brain cells.. I'm serious.. [or m I nt?]

Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 10:50 am

Thursday, March 22, 2007

'End Of BMT + Posting'

Well, BMT has finally ended, n it marks da new chap of my Army NS life.. Haha.. Well, ytd was a rrly gr8 day 4 me.. I was promoted frm Recruit to Private.. However da pay is stil da sam.. So how? Bo bian, jz bear wif it lorz..

Throughout dis course of BMT in Tekong, it has truly make me appreciatif of da things I haf on dis mainland Singapore.. Lolz.. Inded in dere, lots of things were inconvinient.. In fact, a lot is gained thru out da course.. Bt da end when u throw da jockey cap up in2 da air, n being anounced as da private.. It is sort of hard earned 4 1 hu has gone thru prety much trials, scoldings, n others w/o even knowing wads NS abt.. I gues dey rrly nid recognition 4 gg thru much.. Dey rrly deserve admiration.. Even dos hu noe, dey do deserve a bit oso.. Haha.. Bt thru out dis BMT, I do haf som blaberin 2 make..

In dis BMT, I was al da way in Sect 1.. It's acty was quite coolz.. Cz gt funny ppl, ppl hu wil jz brighten up ur days wif jz litle jokes or som funy sacarsms 2 ppl.. I stil rmb da day wen we enlist in, we al lok damn str.. Al bounded up, n seems ready 2 defend oneself frm others.. Den wen I ask hw was I lik in da first day frm da first impresion.. Den I gt da reply tt I lok som "Ah Long", damn f-ing fierce.. Dun even dare 2 tok 2 me.. Bt dey say, aft da 2 wks, it was much beta le la.. Dey jz saw a diff me aft da confinement wk.. Den dey start 2 com closer, den it was a diff me tt dey know aft da field camp.. As in, da transformation did tak place slowly of cz.. Haha.. Den wen it comes 2 parting, we were sort of rrly nt bear 2 part.. Well, dere's no place where no seperation takes place ba.. So durin da POP, we sort of congrat each other on da achievement tt we achieved.. So tt's al I cld say abt dis BMT.. As 4 da folow up, n detailed ones, read da entries b4 dis 1.. Lolz.. Lazy 2 type it anw..

Den I gt posted to Armour Engineer Technician.. Black beret.. Coolz.. Trng xiong.. Tio liao..

Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 11:18 pm

Saturday, March 10, 2007

'Finale Of BMT'

As time flies (i noe it's cliche), I found myself whizing thru da BMT.. Den wen I'm out of tekong, I wld b caled a soldier.. Bt den wad kind of soldier? I duno.. Mayb a sucky 1.. Or other things, bt surely it muz b of sth negative, cz I noe I can nv b a gd soldier.. Well, lest was wad I cld c so far.. If I were a gd soldier, my dream wld haf com true.. Bt in reality, it didn't com at all.. So tt's it.. A bad soldier..

I jz somtimes cldnt figure out y ppl haf 2 b so of their ownselves.. I jz fel so fucked-up.. Esp wen I hear sth wich wil literaly break my heart, or even beta, tak da life out of me.. Wel, I mean afteral, it's expected.. Cz I din mit da requirement, cz I chose da easy road instead of the rite road.. So mayb dis wad I shld gt ba.. So anw, bac 2 da topic.. I duno if is it my bias judgement or wad.. Bt I jz sort of nt hapy tt he's da best n he can go 2 my dream place.. Den he claims he's nt stuck up or wadsoeva, everything he does seems 2 b under stress.. It's lik wtf.. Even if u noe u sure gg tt place, haf an interview wif da big shot, u nid nt haf 2 b so stuck up rit? Haiz.. I duno.. Den act pitiful, as in u r in som sufering.. I gaf respect nt cz u r da best, bt cz u r older den me, sorts wiser den any1 of us.. Tt's y I hold bac my temper ba.. Bt haiz.. Again, wad cn I do, jz sit bac n see wad others tak wad dey deserve lorz.. Bo bain.. I noe it isn't rite 4 Samurai 2 admit his defeat 4 he wil b dishonored lik fuck.. Bt den wad's fact is act, cldnt possibly change it.. So jz tak it lorz..

Well, went 4 NTU open hse.. It was ok la.. Lest I ask abt my course.. Den it was said by da profesor tt my results stand high chance 2 go in.. Bt I fel it's jz sort of a consolation statement frm him ba.. I duno.. Bt I sort of hate ppl hu raises hope, den wen reality shaters it, u fel damn fucked up.. Haiz.. Let's hope he's nt raising hope, n he rrly meant he meant.. As in he say I cld go in, den hope wadeva he say is true lorz..

Dis wk has nth special except da finale wich is da 24km route march.. It is rrly an achievement wen 1 finish tt 24km.. Cz it's rrly a lot on da endurance n menta strength.. Nt so much on physical.. I sorta was quite demoralised.. Cz I recif a bad news frm sb JUST b4 my route march.. Well, I dun blame tt person.. Cz tt person din rrly noe I was doin an impt event.. However, I do wan 2 thank my section mates march beside me n constantly eggin me on.. Though in my mind, I was tinkin y m I so suai 2 tio tt kind of msg frm tt person.. Bt haiz.. wad's over is over lorz.. After finish da 24km, it was sort of quite gidy 4 me.. I do admit it was partly my fault cz I cldnt eat my diner out field.. Mayb was 2 shag 2 do anything ba.. Haha.. Den ppl ard me, at tt pt of tim I fel dey force me 2 eat.. Wich mak me fel quite frustrated.. Denin da end, I gues I jz ate 2 bananas, n I survived da rest of da 12km march home.. Haha.. Den we reach da parade sq, it's so refreshing.. Though we r so damn fuckin shag, bt we fel quite gd.. If u ask me y, I wld say go n try it urself, n u wil noe wad it means le.. Haha..

Throughout this BMT, I did learn a lot.. Haha.. jz hope my unit life wld b 2 tough.. Jz a slacker wanabe.. Haha..

Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 10:34 pm

Saturday, March 03, 2007

'Reflection..'

Well, wadeva is done is done.. I mean well, reviewing da entries of da days in A levels, I cldnt help bt agreein 2 wad I've wrote.. It is quoted "Jz lik wad Lord Elron said 2 Aragon at da eve 2 battle "You are to war, but not to victory", so it defines da fact that victory is never certain until da results r out.. Well, same go 4 exams.. We fite in da course of battle.. Bt den we wil only noe if we win or lose durin da release of results.." Well, true enough, it defines well da fact tt I sux in studyin n exam.. I duno bt da results somhow is nt as shuang2 as I was in Sec 4.. Haiz..

Well, wadeva it is, da breakdown r as folows.. I dun intend 2 anounce da results.. Bt generic overal is no distinctions n no ful cert.. Some of da results wer nt up 2 expectations.. Den som came as a surprise.. I rrly do not noe.. In fact some of my teachers wer quite shocked abt my results.. Esp my maths teachers.. My other teachers wer sort of expecting som flactuations.. Da flactuations wasn't quite big so dey din rrly gt a shock or wadsoeva.. Bt maths gt a rrly rrly big shock.. Den wen I gt da results, I gt shelin frm my tutor in maths n physics.. Cz it was rrly under performance as according 2 him.. So mayb it rrly was my under performance.. I duno..

Ytd, seeing others gt results.. Som cried.. Som flow da tears of joy, while som is sadness n despair.. I rrly duno wad 2 say oso.. I wanted 2 cry, bt sorta as a soldier I hardly cried.. I sort of gt da blackest face during ytd acordin 2 my frens.. Som went 4 celebration, while som went hm 2 sort out their emotions.. Well, life has 2 cary on, dis fact can never b denied.. However, al we cld do is 2 c hw on da remaining days of our lives cld we remedy dis situation.. Cldnt rrly say anything much oso.. Cz mayb my results r nt gd enuf 2 critisize, bt som r rrly damn fucked up.. Anw, jz heck care ba..

I duno, bt I fel mayb after in da Army, our mentality wld change.. So bo bian, haf 2 chiong ahead, n nv lok back ba.. It jz sux totally 2 haf such fucked up results.. Haiz.. N anw, I stil failed my IPPT, (as usual) da dream is DASHED.. Mayb I'm nt meant 2.. Or mayb I'm spiritually tired of fighting alr.. Haiz..

Samurai xiaofeixia is once again honored @ 11:39 am